Post by joemattingway on Nov 11, 2007 17:56:49 GMT -5
Classy? Fancy? As the kids would say, Ballin? Nothing could describe the sheer god-like qualities and model-esque good looks of Joe Mattingway. What else could be said of the man who has already said it all? Some may say that the man known as Joe Mattingway is very full of himself. This is not the case, as Joe would think. Someone who is very full of himself THINKS that he is the greatest human being on the face of the Earth. So, why is it that Mattingway is not an egotistical, self-centered bastard that he is? It's because he KNOWS that he is the greatest human being on the planet. I mean, c'mon. What is it in a perfect man that Joe doesn't have? Sexy on the outside. Check. The personality of a vulnerable cat. Check. Dressing to impressing. Check. I'll take D - all of the above.
The only thing that Joe really had to ponder was why people had to hate him? In all honesty, people should be doing the complete opposite. They should love Joe Mattingway. I mean, all in all, it comes down to jealousy. Joe is perfect, you are not. He's the perfect role model. Look up to him, Love him, leave him alone. Done.
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A shiny black, white streaked limosuine glides into the GCW Parking Lot at a slow pace. The camera slowly follows the limosuine's entrance into the arena. It then abruptly stops in the midde of the parking lot. A slight pause begins before the chauffeur comes out and walks slowly towards the backdoor. The camera zooms in that door, the black tinted windows disrupting the viewer from seeing who is inside. The chauffeur opens the door, and the camera spans from a view of the gentleman's foot, which shows a pair of wing-tip balmorals. The camera tilts upwards, showing a casual black business suit. The camera then zooms in on the face, organized hair and a slight mustache/goatee combo finalize the outlook of the man known as Joe Mattingway. The man has a confident expression on his face, as he looks around the GCW arena. He pulls out a cartoon of Camel cigarettes, pulls one out, lights it, and takes a drag. He begins to slowly walk, cigarette in mouth, towards the main hallways, when the chauffeur calls up to him.
"Sir, you have to pay."
Mattingway looks back at the chauffeur with an annoyed look on his face, turns back around, and keeps walking, ignoring the man's plea. The chauffeur stays in his spot, dumbfounded. Joe continues on his way, finally entering the halls.
Mattingway continues to walk, with a somewhat fast pace, whilst many crew workers, and a couple of wrestlers glance at him with confusion. Within little time, Mattingway makes it to the curtains upon the main rampway of the ring. Cool by Suga Free begins to play over the titantron and P.A. system, as Mattingway starts to make his way to the ring. By this time, he has smoked up his entire cigarette, and before he enters the ring, he flings the filter at the crowd. Upon doing so, a lady in the front row starts to yell at Joe about smoking bans indoors, the effects of smoking, and a bunch of shit that Joe didn't want to hear.
"Hey, your not allowed to smoke indoors! First of all, do you even know what'll happen to you if you continue to do that to yourself. You-"
"Huh?! What?! Can't hear you! Don't care! Thank you!"
Joe enters the ring, having gained some aggression from this argument, rips a mic from a crew member, and begins to speak.
"Hello, how is everyone today? Not like I really care about any one of you scumbags. Like how I'm dressed? You better, you low level bastards.
Now, you may be asking yourself, 'Who is this man? Is he even a wrestler? And how can I be as sexy and talented as him?' Well, let me get to the bottom of this Q&A. My name is Joe Mattingway, that's Mr. Joe Mattingway. And I'm perfect, and you are not. And, yes I am a wrestler. I'm not an announcer, color-commentator, manager, trainer, cartoon, life-size action figure, showman, and I won't be appearing on the cover of any magazine or cereal box. And your answer to question #3? See answer to #1. NOBODY can be better than me, smarter than me, and sexier than me. So, now I'm here in GCW, with what to prove? Nothing. Because you see, I won't dazzle you with any overwhelming attire, and I won't be shooting myself with HGH every Tuesday afternoon for every one to see how much bigger and bigger I can get. I am 100% Classy, Fancy, and as Stylish as a Men's Warehouse manican."
A parade of boo's pour from the crowd.
"EXCUSE ME!! EXCUSE ME!!!"
"So, it seems like this crowd is sick of me. So, lets bring it on over to the other wrestlers back there. Who would like to step up to "The Formal One." But before you do, don't let the suit fool you."
Mattingway drops the mic and waits...
The only thing that Joe really had to ponder was why people had to hate him? In all honesty, people should be doing the complete opposite. They should love Joe Mattingway. I mean, all in all, it comes down to jealousy. Joe is perfect, you are not. He's the perfect role model. Look up to him, Love him, leave him alone. Done.
---------
A shiny black, white streaked limosuine glides into the GCW Parking Lot at a slow pace. The camera slowly follows the limosuine's entrance into the arena. It then abruptly stops in the midde of the parking lot. A slight pause begins before the chauffeur comes out and walks slowly towards the backdoor. The camera zooms in that door, the black tinted windows disrupting the viewer from seeing who is inside. The chauffeur opens the door, and the camera spans from a view of the gentleman's foot, which shows a pair of wing-tip balmorals. The camera tilts upwards, showing a casual black business suit. The camera then zooms in on the face, organized hair and a slight mustache/goatee combo finalize the outlook of the man known as Joe Mattingway. The man has a confident expression on his face, as he looks around the GCW arena. He pulls out a cartoon of Camel cigarettes, pulls one out, lights it, and takes a drag. He begins to slowly walk, cigarette in mouth, towards the main hallways, when the chauffeur calls up to him.
"Sir, you have to pay."
Mattingway looks back at the chauffeur with an annoyed look on his face, turns back around, and keeps walking, ignoring the man's plea. The chauffeur stays in his spot, dumbfounded. Joe continues on his way, finally entering the halls.
Mattingway continues to walk, with a somewhat fast pace, whilst many crew workers, and a couple of wrestlers glance at him with confusion. Within little time, Mattingway makes it to the curtains upon the main rampway of the ring. Cool by Suga Free begins to play over the titantron and P.A. system, as Mattingway starts to make his way to the ring. By this time, he has smoked up his entire cigarette, and before he enters the ring, he flings the filter at the crowd. Upon doing so, a lady in the front row starts to yell at Joe about smoking bans indoors, the effects of smoking, and a bunch of shit that Joe didn't want to hear.
"Hey, your not allowed to smoke indoors! First of all, do you even know what'll happen to you if you continue to do that to yourself. You-"
"Huh?! What?! Can't hear you! Don't care! Thank you!"
Joe enters the ring, having gained some aggression from this argument, rips a mic from a crew member, and begins to speak.
"Hello, how is everyone today? Not like I really care about any one of you scumbags. Like how I'm dressed? You better, you low level bastards.
Now, you may be asking yourself, 'Who is this man? Is he even a wrestler? And how can I be as sexy and talented as him?' Well, let me get to the bottom of this Q&A. My name is Joe Mattingway, that's Mr. Joe Mattingway. And I'm perfect, and you are not. And, yes I am a wrestler. I'm not an announcer, color-commentator, manager, trainer, cartoon, life-size action figure, showman, and I won't be appearing on the cover of any magazine or cereal box. And your answer to question #3? See answer to #1. NOBODY can be better than me, smarter than me, and sexier than me. So, now I'm here in GCW, with what to prove? Nothing. Because you see, I won't dazzle you with any overwhelming attire, and I won't be shooting myself with HGH every Tuesday afternoon for every one to see how much bigger and bigger I can get. I am 100% Classy, Fancy, and as Stylish as a Men's Warehouse manican."
A parade of boo's pour from the crowd.
"EXCUSE ME!! EXCUSE ME!!!"
"So, it seems like this crowd is sick of me. So, lets bring it on over to the other wrestlers back there. Who would like to step up to "The Formal One." But before you do, don't let the suit fool you."
Mattingway drops the mic and waits...