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Post by "Simply Sexy" Chris Calloway on Dec 5, 2007 14:23:24 GMT -5
Chris stood there in front of the GCW building, prepared to sign his new contract, he had wrote what he had to say in a napkin, Chris nervous started reading"Dear Miss Candice I am very thankful that I got hired by ya. I am Chris Calloway, I promise I'll put my best effort. I'd also like to thank you, because you didn't hired me because I am a pretty face. You hired me because of my skills rather than my homemade sex appeal  I'll make your money's worth"Suddenly a wave of air makes Chris sneeze.Damn-a! This Windy City shit is killing me, I'll better take the boogers out I don't wanna scare that hottie hot watermelon that hired me.Chris then cluelessly cleans his nose with the napkin where he wrote what he had to say  Chris then opens his napkinOh shit!!! Anyways Chris calm yourself down, let's try to read what this puts... em....
"Deer Mass Candy..."Chris starts walking into the building as he keeps reading."I am pervertful that I cocked-dicked wy ya"a woman heard that and stared at Chris like if he was some kind of perv, Chris realizes it and then shows off to herHey ya chicka-sweety, you wanna rattle-rattle with a guy that has posed for GQ? By the hombre that all ladies wish?Oh dear no, by what you said you like cock-dicking.... gay..Jay? Nah, my name is Chris. I'll keep reading.Chris rises his stained napkin as he keeps reading."I am Chris Calloway, I penis that I'll chug my best effort... I'd also like to prank you, Lacrosse you didn't hicked me Lacrosse I am a petty mace"A man who has heard everything Chris said stares at him weird. Mr.... Are you allright?Chris then rises his sight from the napkinNah buddy, I ain't allright I suffer high fever, there's a blonde bombshell babe waiting for me right there, and I hope that big pen hits me right in the spot!the man misundestands ChrisLike if we didn't had enough of you perverts getting married we now have to hear you fawning..the man leaves as Chris keeps reading and walking"You whined me the clause of my hills rather than"... Is this a booger? I think it says "accepting my homesexal I'll take your money whore"an old woman that looks like a LGBT rights activist comes closer to ChrisDon't worry lad, your mum will accept your sexual preferences, she's just having a hard time to take it, but debating you your hills is such a bad thing. Don't take her money, you need to be more proud.Thanks for the speech ma'am, but you need to handle me a wad of 500 buckos if ya want me to come with ya. And why are you dressed this way? It's Rainbow Day?Oh son you are so traumatized..the old lady leaves as Chris finally reaches Candice's office, however a security officer then asks ChrisWe have received notice that a delusional schyzophrenic muscled gay is here, please take care.Sheesh! How freaky... I hope ya catch this guy.Chris then knocks Candice's office as he does a breath test and prepares to enter the room, he still grabs the booger stained napkin. And he prepares to recite it again when the door opens.
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Post by Amanda Wallace on Dec 5, 2007 14:28:26 GMT -5
Amanda was in the office of Candice as well, going over a few belt design blueprints with her when a knock was heard. She glances over to Candice...
"You just... seem to attract everybody, don't you?" |
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Candice Angel
Global Championship Wrestling CEO
AngHELLic
Posts: 322
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Post by Candice Angel on Dec 5, 2007 14:34:34 GMT -5
"So you've noticed?...Just shoot me and put me out of my misery now 'Mandy. Jesus Christ...Come in!" |
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Post by Amanda Wallace on Dec 5, 2007 14:39:59 GMT -5
"Hey, just remember... I'm not on constant unsaid vacations... I'm here. They must like blonds. Or be rascist..." |
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Post by "Simply Sexy" Chris Calloway on Dec 5, 2007 14:59:17 GMT -5
Chris hears that, as he says to himselfCome on Chris, first impressions are the best ones.Chris pushes the door and he starts reading his napkin"Deer Mass Candy"...however Chris rises his eyes as he sees another woman there, the womanizing Chris quickly drops his napkin and starts acting like himself...Wow Momma!!! I mean.. Hey! Let me introduce myself, I am the uncanny, the magnificent, the...Chris' adjectives list was pretty limited though...well you get an idea. Have you bought GQ lately? My name appeared in a list of the most "juiced" guys in the modelling fields. I guess the paparazzis know my penchant for apple juice.
Nevertheless if you chicks... I mean bitches... I MEAN!!! Ladies are gonna be my bosses, I'll love being hereChris then focuses his attention on CandiceYa have my contract set? If the small letter says that I gotta cuddle and obey every desire from the bosses I won't bother reading it, I'll just sign and DING! Chris Calloway is a GCW guy Chris then takes out his penYa chicas.. I mean ladies. Ya don't mind if I sign with a X?"we don't as long as you vanish immediatly" would be a good answer... but who knows 
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Candice Angel
Global Championship Wrestling CEO
AngHELLic
Posts: 322
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Post by Candice Angel on Dec 5, 2007 23:10:09 GMT -5
"Hey, just remember... I'm not on constant unsaid vacations... I'm here. They must like blonds. Or be rascist..." "Must be 'Mandy, must be...*Sigh*"
$-Turning her attention back towards the man(And I use the term loosely) whom had made his way into her office in such a delightful manner(Note sarcasm), a bright but obviously forced smile shown across her face as she replayed his border line schizophrenic rant just moments before. Thinking for a few seconds she then replies...-$
"Sir, first off...That's no way to address a potential future employer. "Bitches"? Let's not go there shall we? Second of all, I'd suggest trying decaf before you burst all over my office from excitement, and I'd simply DIE if you did that. This stuff hasn't been paid for yet. And third...You wouldn't happen to be related to a Mr. Jason Arielle would you?" |
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Post by Amanda Wallace on Dec 6, 2007 14:25:45 GMT -5
"For the loss? Mr... .... You forgot to tell us your name... didn't you...
*sigh*
Um... just to warn you? We are doing random drug testings... so... if you're a... "Super-juiced" male model... you may want to get that looked at..."
She glances up and down at the man... maybe she can add some sterilization to this man's health benefits? |
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Post by "Simply Sexy" Chris Calloway on Dec 6, 2007 16:43:22 GMT -5
Chris then shrugs, not understanding what happensJason Arielle? I have a friend called Jason and a ex-girlfriend called Ariel, but I never got her pregnant so I can't be related to I am sorry Ma'am, I didn't said you are a bitch, just that I got nervous, you see this ain't like posing for photo stuff, when I pose there with just my underwear all guys stare me did he just said all guys? Anyways my name is Chris Calloway.Chris then flexes and pumps up his musclesMr. GQ, Mr. Peaks, Mr. Weapons of Mass Seduction whatever you wanna call me is fine.. Chris keeps pumping and kisses his bicepsKissin' the twins is the best drug, by the way speaking of drugs... The only thing... Well thingies I take is this super-duper muscle mass stuff. They say that it can give several mental retardation but those are fairy tales, nothing can affect my brain capacity... I am a very "smurt" man ya know. Also this little helper I take can give some kind of odd thing...
Muscular Dystrofia? What's that? Sure it's a good thing, but I dunno why they write it with big red letters...Chris then keeps posingBut I have no problems doing urine tests ladies, I can do one right here to make ya feel safe
Neverthelesser have ya my contract ready? I came here to sign but as I thought I'd find some foreign moron that speaks like a French Poodle I didn't planned to stay for long.
But seeing ya two, well my plans can take a stepback, I think Bruno won't mind that he gives me a massage an hour later Chris sits like a macho man on the chair waiting for an answer from the bosses
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Candice Angel
Global Championship Wrestling CEO
AngHELLic
Posts: 322
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Post by Candice Angel on Dec 6, 2007 23:04:41 GMT -5
"..................."
$-Talk about rambling on about nothing for unnecessary extended lengths of time.-$
"Okay sweetie, that's all find and dandy but, a little advice? It may not be the wisest choice to speak of urine and other men giving you rub downs while seeking employment...ANYWHERE actually. Now..."
"You stated that you're a...Model?... "
"...."
"How...Interesting, umm  ...It's not everyday you encounter a male model who's seeking employment with a professional wrestling promotion. I'm sure if you're here you have SOME experience in the ring but...We of course have to ask HOW extensive that experience is." |
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Post by "Simply Sexy" Chris Calloway on Dec 7, 2007 13:17:30 GMT -5
Experience? Well ladies, I'd be a jackass if I came here experienceless.  Chris takes some time to pose, however his cell phone beepsSorry ladies. Bruno's calling, I need to tell him I am speaking with ya.
Bruno? Yeah I'll come an hour later, you'll be all over my sexy body an hour later. Right, I see ya laterChris hangs up and then posesOw yeah he'll make me feel mighty real soon after... Anyways ladies where were we? Oh yeah experience.... Well-a ladies, I have been modelling since I was 17, that is the age when I got dumped from High School.
Neverthelesser after my chica convinced me to rassle, I started training in a school under the orders of some old guy with a 'fro called Hayley.. No wait, Harrison? Wait-a, I know it I got it on the tip of ma' tongue.
Oh yeah... Harley Race... Duh such a odd name, he sounds like a horse, I guess he's a trainer from this year...
So well after spending 3 years in his school, I got my graduation and bam! I saw yer advert and I saw all the chicks that are in wrestling and I said.
WOW MOMMA!!! I join here ;D And here I am, chattin' with some lovely ladies who happen to be my bosses, that's my experience...
But of course if ya wanna ask me about the ladies that have passed by my bed... Get yourselfs comfy cause the conversation will go for long
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Post by Amanda Wallace on Dec 7, 2007 13:30:54 GMT -5
"You're... not a father already, are you?"
Amanda's in absolute awe of this... Inteview... Oh my god, it's like somebody hired Borat with muscle...
"Did Harley Race fix you? A man like that I'd hope he would.... or maybe I can give this "Bruno," a call? Is that your boyfriend?" |
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Post by "Simply Sexy" Chris Calloway on Dec 7, 2007 13:56:24 GMT -5
Bruno? Naaaah, he's just my buddy. And he knows how to give massages, so if ya Miss feel the weight of the world on yer back I can give Bruno a call and he'll do magic with his hands, I had a groin injury and maaaaan he worked more magic than the Orlando Magic in that zone.We don't want to know what kind of magic.... Oh and I ain't a father, well I left Harriet, Josie, Hayley, Kiss, Casey, Donna, Jenny, Sarah, Westley, Mary-Ann and Taylor pregnant but all of them aborted...
Ya know ya tell this chicas how they'll get after pregnancy and it's a instant motive for aborting ;DIs that some motive to brag?And whaddaya mean that Harrison Race fixed me? I don't wanna get a basectomy I want a little Chris in the world Oh yeah fatherhood always gives points fo' being champ.
Ask 'Tista, his mom is lesbian, his 17 year old daughter has had two sniveling babies and he's world champ!!!
Oh yeah when I feel prepared I'll choose the lady who'll have the mission to put a little Chris Calloway Jr. in the world
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Post by Amanda Wallace on Dec 7, 2007 14:06:07 GMT -5
Thoughts of Amanda with a pair of scissors and a sleeping Calloway start floating through her mind...
She could... save the world... with one little snip...
She snaps out of the daydream...
"Right... Um...
Geez, Candice... this one's all you... I'm going to back in the corner, and kinda... look at these drawings... 'kay?" |
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Candice Angel
Global Championship Wrestling CEO
AngHELLic
Posts: 322
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Post by Candice Angel on Dec 7, 2007 14:13:18 GMT -5
$-Candi's face showed pure shock by this point. There was no way in hell someone could possibly be WORSE than Buck but...This man was unknowingly proclaiming to do just that.-$
$-She reaches into the drawer nearest her hearing the man's words, retrieving the needed to be signed document and placing it on the desk with a blank look in her facial expression...-$
"Whatever, whatever sir...Um...I think we've heard enough...Personal information or...Whatever...This is the standard contract we offer here at GCW so...Look it over and make it official so you can...Get the hell out of my office..." |
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Post by "Simply Sexy" Chris Calloway on Dec 7, 2007 14:26:53 GMT -5
Chris has a hard time reading the contract, after spending half an hour reading, he takes out his ballpen.Let's see, ya said it was ok if I signed with a "X" wasn't it? So here ya have a flashy, tacky, dashy X for ya' my new fans Chris then does a supertaunt for signing... Unfortunately he signed on the table Shitnuts!!! Let me clean this X lady... Uh there's a napkin isn't there?Chris grabs his booger stained napkin and proceeds to clean the X, only to make it worse...Hey this table has some bad case of fungus? Look here it has chunks that sorround my X Chris then signs the contract, this time he does it wellWell here's the contract, X marks the spot don't they say that? Now let me hit the turning point ladies.Chris takes out his cell phone and plays the tune of "Whatta Man" by Salt'N'PeppaUuuh Whatta Man, Whatta Man, Whatta moneymakin' man... Chris thwarted the lyrics... But thank god he finally leaves...
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I'll make your money's worth"
Chris then opens his napkin
...It's not everyday you encounter a male model who's seeking employment with a professional wrestling promotion. I'm sure if you're here you have SOME experience in the ring but...We of course have to ask HOW extensive that experience is."