"NOOOO!" (o2a)

[Xaviera Spirit Evolution]

With nothing but the glow of her computer screen kissing her face, Kaori Xaviera, one half of the once mediocre GCW Debutante Tag Team, The Xaviera Spirit Evolution, sat completely dumbfounded. She refused to believe the size twenty-seven headline radiating off her computer screen. It had to be a cruel joke, there wasn't anyway this little bit of information was true! It just couldn't be, it didn't make any sense! She was on a stroll of good luck, her week couldn't end with this, it just couldn't! Finding a $100 dollar bill on the ground, winning the grocery store lottery allowing her to purchase $1000 worth of groceries, and finding an ultra-rare Uni-Man Discolored Uni-Horn on e-bay, which she had searched her entire young adult life for. All this good luck just couldn't lead to this, it just wasn't possible.

Quickly opening up numerous tabs on her Firefox screen, her nose began to feel the tingling warmth of depression as each new site seemed to deliver the same exact news. The entire world must be conspiring against her, that must be it! The news ring just didn't approve of Kaori's hobbies, so they all conspired the exact same story just to mess with her mind. That's what she concluded, she refused to believe the countless articles she was reading.

----

Meanwhile, in the kitchen Kaoru had another dilemma. There wasn't anything remotely edible in their refrigerator/freezer combo. Alcohol. Twinkies. Hostess Cupcakes. Pizza-Flavored Hot Pockets. Alcohol. Mountain Dew. Rocky Road flavored ice cream. Sort-of-empty pizza boxes from Smack! Pizza. Alcohol. Barbecue Beef Hot Pockets. Marshmallows. Reese's flavored Klondike bars. Seven bags of butterscotch chocolate chips. Alcohol.

Sighing, she grabbed a beer bottle, slammed the door, and leaned against the kitchen counter. Twisting off the cap, she took a drink, and starred at the ceiling. She knew it was a mistake to send Kaori to the supermarket just a few days ago. She should have known it was Lottery Drawing Day, and that Kaori would have claimed she was Kaoru when her name was called. Otherwise, there wouldn't be hundreds of boxes of Uni-Cereal scattered about the kitchen counters, and nor would their fridge be filled with so many fat-inducing foods. Though, the pizza box had there way before then. Also, Kaori's most recent realization of being able to legally purchase alcoholic beverages should have been a key warning sign of never allowing her to shop at the supermarket alone. Granted, Kaori never drank any, Kaoru just assumed it was the adrenaline rush of purchasing alcohol that drove her insanity.

"KAORU! KAORU! KAORU!"[/b][/size]

Three sentences broke any concentration she was having. Chugging down the bottle, Kaoru tosses it into the garbage bin as she headed into Kaori's bedroom.

----

After reading hundreds of articles, and thousands of headlines, Kaori was finally drawn to tears. Her eyes scorching hot, her cheeks cushioning her weeping tears, Kaori was laying in her bed in the fetal position as she tried to wrap her mind around the reality of today's misfortune. There was just far too much evidence to believe that the entire world was lying her. She had to be crazy to believe otherwise. There were pictures, videos, internet memorials, and even a t-shirt, which she didn't even want to purchase. As soon as she saw Kaoru enter her bedroom, she began to wail.

"HE'S DEAD KAORU, HE'S DEAD!" Falling off her bed, she crawled quickly to her sister, and hugged her legs tightly. "AND WE DON'T EVEN KNOW THE CAUSE OF HIS DEATH. IT'S A COMPLETE MYSTERY KAORU, BUT THEY FOUND..THEY...FOUND...THEY...FOUND...THEY...FOUND...." She didn't even want to imagine it. The picture of his body was glaring on the computer screen as Kaori could do nothing but continue to fight with her mind.

Wondering if her alcoholic tolerance had suddenly hit an all-time low, Kaoru looked down at Kaori, trying to peace the puzzle together. This couldn't be an illusion of any sort, her sister was literally hugging her legs, and crawled at speeds she had never seen. "Who's...dead Kaori?" That was the first question that popped in Kaoru's head, not a "How are you doing today?" or a "Why seven bags of butterscotch chocolate chips?" Just a generic, "Who's dead?"

Kaori suddenly went silent. She couldn't believe her sister could be so dense. Did they not share a psychic connection that only twins ever, ever, ever experience? Did Kaoru seriously not see it? Unable to utter the words herself, Kaori could only point at her computer screen as she continued to dig her face into Kaoru's legs.

Getting the idea, Kaoru tilted her head slightly, and looked in the direction Kaori was pointing. Assuming it wasn't the Uni-Man wall scroll hanging over her computer, she looked at the computer monitor and saw the complete headline, alongside a confirmation picture.

"UNI-MAN FOUND DEAD, COMMUNITY CRESTFALLEN"

And just as Kaoru was about to respond, the doorbell rang. Perhaps this wasn't the best day for Kaoru to invite someone over.

[Victor Wayne]

Unbeknownst to the Xavieras a shadowy figure in black had been stalking the halls of their apartment complex. Stalking them for some time and disturbing all of the twins' neighbors trying to find the right door and growing ever more frustrated at his mounting failures. Still, he persisted in knocking on each one and asking for Kaori and Kaoru as ominously as he could only to be denied every time.

“Oh, COME ON!” shouted the unmistakable voice of Victor Wayne as Mrs. Pulaski, the old woman down the hall, slammed her door in his face. As he stepped back into the harsh light of the hallway it was easier to make out the heavily made-up features of his face around the jet black of his hair, clothes and coat.

The question was what brought him here of all places, why now, and even more intriguing was how he'd managed to break away from his new family, the Greys and their Magic Time Winnebago, for this long? And what was in the briefcase he was holding?

“This is completely taking me out of the moment.” he said as he buried his face in a wall trying to regain his composure. Victor had convinced himself that these setbacks would only make it that much sweeter when he arrived. An idea hit him before he could return to his canvassing and he knew just how to get what he wanted.

Moments later

The elevator to the floor opened again and Victor Wayne stepped back out for his do-over. He went down to check the mailboxes again and made sure to write down the number. The reset button firmly pressed he went to find the home of the Xavieras.

Then he knocked and waited...

[Jacob Cruise]

The door next to the one Victor had just knocked on suddenly opens.

"Eh!? Would'cha keeps it down a bit?"

The man slurs out, though its barely understandable. Proping himself up against the door frame...

"Where....wheres my pants!? Are you the...*hiccup* guy? Ya' know, with the food and stuff? I'll take a double...duper...decker....burrito! No, no, no....Burger! yesshssh! Thats it, a double burger cheese. Cheesey...burger....thing. Where meh pants!?"

From inside the small apartment room a female voice full of sleep speaks...

"Cruise...baby, your not trying to sneak out before I wake up are you?"

Cruise has to think for a moment, really not wanting this to become more than just a one night stand...

"Well....uh......tos be honestly with yous...

Cruise begins to swing his arms around, making gestures as he speaks to make the moment seem more dramatic. A bottle of Jack in his hand is now visable.

Yeah, I'm out.

With that he closes the door and now stands face to face in the hallway with Victor.

"You...you...look familiar! Do...do I....do you.....do you know where meh pants are?

And with that, Cruise turns and begins to walk away. Probably going that find that cheeseburger he so desires. Though, wearing only boxers and carrying a bottle of Jack probably isn't going to get him the best reception at the local Mc'Donalds.

[Victor Wayne]

“Probably somewhere between the girl with the hangover and the his and hers pools of vomit. Might want to take another look at the scene there, Gil Grissom. Maybe take a shower while you're in there.” said Wayne taken aback by the sights and smells coming from next door.

Victor began to make a dismissive gesture but realized he was still holding the briefcase. “No, wait. I need an audience for this.” he mumbled.


He ran to chase Jacob down and with as much faux sincerity as he could muster said “Hey,... bro. I was just messing with you. So why don't you … ugh … forget about your pants for a minute. Once they open the door we'll get your neighbors to grill you up something nice.”

“You stay right here and watch how awesome this thing I'm about to do is.” Victor sternly pointed at a spot with a good view of all parties who would be involved. Then he walked over to knock again and peer through the peephole the wrong way.

“I know this is the right number. You know I know this is the right number. Why aren't you answering?”

“Could it be... TERROR?”

[Jacob Cruise]

I....like....Awesomeness stuff!

Or so he thinks. Not really knowing whats going to take place, and not really caring in his current state, Cruise decides to stay.

Theys can grillz me ups teh cheesey burger?

With a big smile on his face, Cruise knocks on the door as well. Damn it, he wanted that cheese burger.