Post by Jacob Cruise on Mar 25, 2009 10:24:55 GMT -5
The Titantron flickers to life shortly after the beginning of the Pay-Per-View. On the screen the camera is panning the backdrop of an ancient Greek civilization. Statues, monuments, and drawings of Greek Gods as far as the eye can see. A magnificent view to behold as the announcers voice booms to life...
"In Greek Mythology Gods ruled the land with an iron fist. All knew their powers and worshiped them for it."
The camera continues to slowly move. Flying over lush green hills, virtuous farm lands, and finally stopping on a gigantic statue of Zeus himself.
More well known than any other though, was the great Greek God Zeus. Ruling high from Mount. Olympus, this is where our story begins. With his beloved son...Herc
"Jacob 'Mutherfuggin' Cruise....Bitch!"
"What?
"You heard me, now step off bitch! This is my time."
Cruise now steps into the camera's view. The fans in the arena a mixture of cheers, jeers, and tears. He rests his back against the giant statue of Zeus only shaking his head...
"That is one big dude. I still bet I got a bigger peni..
Hey! This is a PBS special!
You son of a..
Cruise storms out of the camera's view. Him diving out of the picture being the last image we get of him. All we hear is basically an ass whoopin' off camera.
"I'm sorry! Please stop!"
"Damn right your sorry! Next time I tell you to step off you better listen!"
"No! No! Please! Don't!"
We hear a loud crashing sound in the distance followed by Cruise coming back into camera view. He is dusting off his hands with a somewhat twisted look on his face. Once more he rests his back to the statue...
"Now, contrary to popular belief....This is not a PBS special. Well, not anymore that is. You see, this little video is now GC-Dub property. Jacked by yours truly. And yes...there is a reason behind my thievery.
The camera follows Cruise as he begins to walk around the area. More drawings and carvings of Greek Gods appear throughout the background.
You see, when I first started in this business I was a nobody. A complete nobody. I didn't know my true potential. It wasn't until I took on the Sultan of Submission himself Chris Lionheart that I realized just how great I was. I mean, not only did I beat the guy at his own game....I destroyed him...Making him tap out three times as many times as I did in an ultimate submission match. Thus, earning myself the self-proclaimed title of 'Gaaaawd of Submission.'
Cruise pauses for a short second to take in his surroundings..
Then, I went on such a winning streak and destroyed so many big name wrestlers...That it was only obvious that I was your 'Gaaaawd of Wrestling.'
Staring intently into the camera now...
"Tonight though....its only fair that at the befitting named Pay-Per-View Ascesnsion...That I ascend to a full fledge GAAAAAAAAAAWD!."
Cruise rips the camera out of the cameraman's hands and holds it up to his face. The titantron is nothing but a huge view of Cruise's head now...
"So tonight....After I win that Rumble....Go on to win that pathetic ladder match...and guarantee myself a spot at the main event at the end of the year...Well, after I accomplish those things tonight...From here on out...Fill free to just call me....GAAAAAAAAAWD
Cruise lets the camera fall to the ground. The last thing you hear is the cracking sound the equipment makes as it hits the floor. The screen fades to black...
End
"In Greek Mythology Gods ruled the land with an iron fist. All knew their powers and worshiped them for it."
The camera continues to slowly move. Flying over lush green hills, virtuous farm lands, and finally stopping on a gigantic statue of Zeus himself.
More well known than any other though, was the great Greek God Zeus. Ruling high from Mount. Olympus, this is where our story begins. With his beloved son...Herc
"Jacob 'Mutherfuggin' Cruise....Bitch!"
"What?
"You heard me, now step off bitch! This is my time."
Cruise now steps into the camera's view. The fans in the arena a mixture of cheers, jeers, and tears. He rests his back against the giant statue of Zeus only shaking his head...
"That is one big dude. I still bet I got a bigger peni..
Hey! This is a PBS special!
You son of a..
Cruise storms out of the camera's view. Him diving out of the picture being the last image we get of him. All we hear is basically an ass whoopin' off camera.
"I'm sorry! Please stop!"
"Damn right your sorry! Next time I tell you to step off you better listen!"
"No! No! Please! Don't!"
We hear a loud crashing sound in the distance followed by Cruise coming back into camera view. He is dusting off his hands with a somewhat twisted look on his face. Once more he rests his back to the statue...
"Now, contrary to popular belief....This is not a PBS special. Well, not anymore that is. You see, this little video is now GC-Dub property. Jacked by yours truly. And yes...there is a reason behind my thievery.
The camera follows Cruise as he begins to walk around the area. More drawings and carvings of Greek Gods appear throughout the background.
You see, when I first started in this business I was a nobody. A complete nobody. I didn't know my true potential. It wasn't until I took on the Sultan of Submission himself Chris Lionheart that I realized just how great I was. I mean, not only did I beat the guy at his own game....I destroyed him...Making him tap out three times as many times as I did in an ultimate submission match. Thus, earning myself the self-proclaimed title of 'Gaaaawd of Submission.'
Cruise pauses for a short second to take in his surroundings..
Then, I went on such a winning streak and destroyed so many big name wrestlers...That it was only obvious that I was your 'Gaaaawd of Wrestling.'
Staring intently into the camera now...
"Tonight though....its only fair that at the befitting named Pay-Per-View Ascesnsion...That I ascend to a full fledge GAAAAAAAAAAWD!."
Cruise rips the camera out of the cameraman's hands and holds it up to his face. The titantron is nothing but a huge view of Cruise's head now...
"So tonight....After I win that Rumble....Go on to win that pathetic ladder match...and guarantee myself a spot at the main event at the end of the year...Well, after I accomplish those things tonight...From here on out...Fill free to just call me....GAAAAAAAAAWD
Cruise lets the camera fall to the ground. The last thing you hear is the cracking sound the equipment makes as it hits the floor. The screen fades to black...
End
