Does it fit? (Jennifer's Reaction)

[danedynamite]

Lauren was backstage at Mayhem and the cameras were rolling as she had arranged to have a promo for the attention of one Jennifer Drew. Lauren wasn't aware if Jennifer was at Mayhem but Lauren was no longer a member of the Mayhem roster but she wanted to be the first in line. Lauren was in a room she was dressed casual her top short enough to showcase her slightly forming abs.

"Congratulations Jennifer my old 'friend' on you win of course, naturally I was watching your match with bated breath. I didn't care who won really as I know I'd be picking the bones of either, but you won against the mind-freak and I am pleased for you. I guess Scarlett is laughing now that you split gained fifteen pounds, Twinkies doing a good job of replacing her love?"

Lauren leaned forward and smiled before the smile slowly faded before she began to speak again.

"You blamed me for breaking you and her up, well that was the easy part. Scarlett can and is doing much better than you. I denied it for so long and now I am giving you the truth 'sweetie' yes I broke you up, why not because I was jealous not because I was angry, but purely because a woman like Scarlett deserved better. I was prepared to lose my best friend over that and I almost did, but you see Scarlett is doing better. Now before you turn to the Twinkie, consider this I'd do it all again. Yes I did it because of my caring for Scarlett but to be honest I did get a kick out of playing God with your life."

Lauren laughs at that last part, it was evil but it felt so damn good. Lauren then stopped laughing and an ice cold stare at the camera people had never quite seen Lauren like this.

"I do have one question considering that the only debutante with a waistline bigger than yours is Candice Romero, the belt Jennifer... Does it fit?"

Lauren hoped that her evil message had got to Jennifer, who was she kidding this tape would not only be aired but Lauren had sent packages to every friend of Jennifer, every family member, and to every address that she had for Jennifer including her tax haven. Inside was this video on VHS, DVD and Lauren had even made it on Blu-Ray. Nothing says I hate you and I want you to know than somebody putting the video on Blu-Ray.

[Jennifer Drew]

Message 1, from a Cincinnati area code, mom and dad. Message 2, Vegas, Cosette. Message 3, San Juan, Raul. God DAMN IT! She knows he was an early adopter for HD-DVD. This is just salt in the wound.

Oh no, I'm not letting this go on.

I found a shirt that fit me like hers-- since I clearly don't care any more-- grabbed the belt and found myself a camera of my own.

You know I figured I wouldn't get long before someone started something like this. I even knew it would be you once you opened your filthy word hole a few weeks ago.

But I've got to say, all that fat stuff really hurt, Lauren.

And eyes watering for a second there.

It really hurt when I was in gym class in the 9th grade and some girl said the same thing about me. I mean now that I've grown up, won the Debutante Title, gotten to be a big wrestling superstar, won the Debutante title, accepted I'm different and that there's just some people who don't “get it”, and won the Debutante Title...

Which I held up and polished a little. Maybe it would be so shiny it would blind her.

Did I mention I won the Debutante Title?

And you didn't.

Ever.

What I was saying is the sting just isn't there any more. So even if I did go up a size or two I'd say I'm looking pretty good. Now maybe you didn't but I've gotta say you're looking a little slow and out of breath after that return though. That Trinity chick was pretty brutal.

Oh and as for Scarlett, don't mind me if I go on blaming you for things. Even better if you want to take responsibility for it, because you did screw things up. Big time. But the problem with your big villain reveal Lauren von Doom is that, you forgot the part where your “best friend” proceeded to stop speaking to you except to embarrass you on international television.

Way to go you dastardly Machiavel, you!

Make no mistake, sooner or later we are going to finish this, Lauren. I'm going to be at Mayhem watching really close and we're going to see who earns their shot. And that's all you need to know. Now if you'll excuse me...

I reached out of frame for the big product placement item of the moment, a Twinkie, unwrapped it and took a bite. It doesn't matter how many of these I eat because I can still totally kick her ass.

Oh God, that's great.

FADE