Long Overdue

["Mr. Showtime" Bryan Daniels]

I don't recognize most of the people here in GCW. I have been "out of the loop" for a while and am unaware of what is going on in efeds nowadays. Many people here I probably do know but you are using different characters than the ones I used to know. Some here may know me from APW as Michael Taylor or Casey Angel. Most know me by "Mr. Showtime" Bryan Daniels. Anyway, onto the reason I am here.

My personal apology to all who once RPed with me is long overdue. I don't know how many times I hovered over countless names on MSN so I could IM them and apologize but never did so. There are quite a few I feel I need to mention by name that deserve an apology from me.

First off, Amanda Wallace.

Jan 14, 2009 2:55:58 GMT -5 Amanda Wallace said:

After FCW closed, I was just going to help out APW, but some jealousy over Crymson in another fed with another admin kind of mucked that one up, so I was talked into the idea of starting up GCW.

I don't know what compelled her to do so, but she put what I did here far too nicely. I completely fucked things up. I used my own selfishness and put it in front of APW. I was so upset over minor bullshit from another fed that I ruined the fun for many in it because of the feud I created between Amanda and myself. Not only did it effect our friendship, but it also made things hard for the friends we shared. It made for a stressful RP environment for all the members and staff of that fed and for all the members and staff of APW. My own selfishness and jealousy cost me countless friendships as well as added to the downfall of two places I loved dearly. For some reason, you even rooted for me to be the CEO's choice in the main event at WrestleFest as well. I was undeserving of it, but I do thank you for that. To you Amanda, I'm sorry.

Secondly, the APW Staff.

Sept 21, 2008 18:40:20 GMT -5 Katanna Jade said:

Oh I do feel the same. To much work has been put into APW to just let it disappear into history. I imagine that it will take just as much work to pull this off succesfully and I'm sure not everyone will be happy with what we're going to be talking about here today. A shame really that they can't just set aside what has hapened in the past and just do whats right for both these companies and the people who love them.

Yes, I know this was an IC conversation Katanna was having with Candice Angel. But, it is more than correct about the OOC truth behind it. As I stated, I put my own selfishness and jealousy ahead of what was best for APW. I was a real pain in the ass for anyone who had to deal with me during the first season of APW back in 2007. My own personal struggles made it hard to be around me whether it be in a fed, a convo, or face to face. I shouldn't have let it get out of hand and between myself and my fellow staff members at APW. Nobody deserved the treatment I gave them those last couple of months. Chantell, Candice, Katanna, Rem, Kimberly, 187, Richard, and Lindsay, I'm sorry.

To all of the former APW members, I owe you an apology as well. I let my own personal problems get in the way of doing what was right by all of you. I put myself ahead of APW. Nobody is bigger than a fed, real or fantasy. Somehow, I forgot that and ruined the experience for everyone. Make no mistake, I loved APW. The storylines that were created there and what I believe was the first Female-specific league in the Rose division helped make it an unbelievable success that year. We were going to have a small roster in the beginning, but all of you made it such a huge success with outstanding RPs and amazing, original CAWs. Even if it's best days were short-lived, all of you made it my favorite place to be. I screwed it up for all of you and take full responsibility for doing so. No matter what was going on with me personally, it should have never made any of you have less fun than you deserved. To all of you, I'm sorry.

Last, I want to apologize to those who were involved with the other fed. I let my own problems cause a lot of unneccessary friction there, especially between friends of Amanda and myself. I can't help but think that my stupidity had something to do with the downfall of it as well. I know what happened between us was almost a year before it closed. But, the added stress and tension that I caused for the staff, friends, and members couldn't have made things more enjoyable for anyone. I acted like a childish ass. To all of you, I'm sorry.

I don't know what my word means to many after everything we have been through. Some of you may read this and know it is my sincere apology to everyone and some may read this and believe it to be a huge load of crap. I can't change the way you feel. It is up to each of you to make up your own mind. I am truly sorry for the things that I put everyone through. Everyone deserved much better from me. My deployment to Iraq this past year gave me a chance to step back and focus on correcting my problems. It wasn't fun being back over there, but it has helped me out greatly. I regained my focus and my mental stability, two things I let get obscured greatly the past 5 years of my life. But, i'm healthy again and thankful for it.

One last thing. I would like to thank Joe Bruiser. In all honesty, you restored my hope to reconnect with all the friends I used to have in efeds when you IMed me the other day. For a long time I have wanted to create a thread like this to formally apologize. But, I have been out of the loop and so far gone for so long with the falling outs I had and the deployment to Iraq this past year that I was afraid it may have been too late. You gave me that small bit of hope I needed and the courage to do so though. You'll always be alright with me Joe. Thank you.

I know this post doesn't have much to do with GCW, if anything at all. But, it is something that I have personally needed to do and a lot of things I have needed to get off of my chest for more than a year now. I ask that the staff not delete this post as it pertains to at least a few of them as well as many other GCW members that know me from one of the two feds mentioned, if not both.

[Amanda Wallace]

E-fedding sure got insane and personal for a while, didn't it? It seemed once someone posted about VWE on CAWs.ws and a flood of people jumped into that place, from my observations of the members that were there before, to the members that joined in during "the flood," things were vastly different. Instead of a group of good friends doing what they do, you had dozens of newer faces to accommodate and accept, and, in that group, a few problems, yes. Some people took this almost as if it were a "second life," or something you'd see as if it were a paid deal, or even a job. I was assosciated with a few of those people, and it lead to far more stress than I wanted to deal with. Almost like, as I noted in my introduction, the first I've ever written, that it added far more stress and headache than ever needed for a simple hobby.

Nobody's ever as innocent as they'll ever say that they are, noted by countless threads similar to this that pop up every now and again. To say that I'm innocent in my days as an e-fedder and staffer would be a bold-faced lie. But, it takes more than dwelling on what you've done to right some things, and it's more or less of what you could do at times. There could be any countless things, such as reaching out on MSN, leaving a comment on a forum, or what not, which is what you'd done for me when you explained your situation before your re-deployment. I'm not bitter over that, in my introduction I was merely stating history, as with that character that wasn't the only instance where someone's personal jealousy of what I accomplished fast with her got in the way of a friendship. Granted, animosity was returned in that separate occasion due to an assosciation I had plus personal life, but I've since paved things over with that individual handler myself, who's now here in GCW as well, and someone with whom I talk to on MSN a few times when I log in. Same with another one from here, where an incident happened, and things seem to be alright now as I've even gotten help from the individual for some things.

These things that have happened in my own personal history I'm not bitter over. The APW thing? Was more of a "wtfowell" thought before the others approached me about starting something new, something here. The LXW rigging? Same thing. I was truthfully over that within a few days, and was set to be an example and carry on and participate happily. It took seeing more senseless drama build up for me to finally say fuck it and try a clean slate, that failed initially, but now I can see slate #2 seems to be a success. Even some initial VWE problems I had when Pyro was there, those are wiped away as the Admin and I are good friends as well, and he knows that I'm available to help him out on whatever he needs whenever his busy schedule opens up the opportunity for him to participate or even say "Hi, or LOLverines." Life is too short to hold all of these countless grudges, something that I'd known for far too long in my personal life, and something that does carry over here, even leading to an "Out of sight, out of mind" thought process. Why carry on bullshit when it's just as simple to strike the problem from memory with something as simple as a delete button and an IP ban? Less stress on me, I know that for certain. It carries over here as well, where I'd rather ban that do "special treatment" for the one person that has a problem with something miniscule, as some may have heard me tell them. If I had a problem with anybody, they wouldn't see me either on MSN, or they wouldn't have access to me here, although anybody is capable of e-mailing me, I'd figure a way to block the negative from there as well. That is why you're capable of seeing me on MSN, because my door is always open to you. I'm not letting that cloud the way to a better future or reconciliation of sorts.

So, feel free to IM, say "Hi," or whatnot. Or, hell, take that account that you have? And point it to the Titan Registration board. We're not here to discriminate, as just about anybody that hasn't pointed themselves out to be a severe problem is capable of signing up. If you're curious to see if you're the problem, and happen to be reading this by proxy or something? Find out if you're one of the severe "out of sight, out of mind" cases and see if you're true IP is banned. Very few are like that, very, very few. I for one, feel good about my past, as it now feels like I'm doing something finally right. Now that the "current-gen" shock of GCW is over, it seems excitement for this place has grown, including on the staff-side, and I can't wait to see what looks to be the year that leads to my own personal closing of my e-fed book can lead to, from anybody and everybody that chooses to take part.

[champ]

Whattup Show? 187 here.

I accept your apology. I don't believe we've ever really had any major issues with each other. I think my only problem with you was that you left APW to struggle with a lack of staff. It sucked not knowing whether or not APW was going to stay afloat. Sometimes I'd wonder when the last days were going to be, but fortunately we managed to squeeze on by with the bare minimum. That would probably be my only issue that I'd have with you. But I've forgiven and forgotten about all that. It's not something that I'm going to hold against you. I never really had any kind of ill feeling against you. It's done with though. It's in the past. Can't do anything about it now but to forgive and forget. I know we never really talked much in the past. You would IM me out of the blue on MSN and I was always surprised to even see you IM me. But hey, it's not like the doors of communication aren't open. If you ever want to chat, feel free to hit me up on MSN. It's all good.

["Mr. Showtime" Bryan Daniels]

Thank you both for the replies. They are appreciated. I might have to take you up on that Titan offer Amanda. It could be a little while until I am able to though. I've only been home a month as of yesterday so I'm still sorting through the past year's worth of mail, bills, drama while I was away, etc. I'm trying to find my own place again so I have somewhere to put all of my stuff besides storage. I don't think I have made an RP since before VWE shut down in March last year. I was transitioning between the US, Kuwait, and Iraq at that time, so I was scarcely around anywhere. I do hope to one day return to RPing. I'm hoping that day comes sooner rather than later. It all depends on how everything pans out. Until then, my messenger is always open to anyone that wants to drop me a line. I'll still drop by here as well and read up on all the latest storylines to try and keep myself aware of what is going on. Lots of interesting stuff so far leading up to the new season. I hope to see a lot more.

[Dayna Mariano]

Sorry to necro this.


Apology accepting Bryan. I know you and I got into it over APW pretty hardcore. I know I said somethings I wish I could take back, some things I wish I had never said. If fact reading this has really given me a since to efed again. Ive been trying to get back into it. But I keep hearing about all the drama, and last year was just to much. from VWA/E to second coming of APW to GCW, I just couldnt shake the drama. But thank you. That apology meant a lot to me.

Lindsay Corban

[veronica]

It's been awhile Bryan. A long time indeed. I'm out of the loop too since many months you know, but sometimes, when I have time, I'm still lurking around reading interesting stuff like what you wrote. I remember during the VWE days Bryan... I remember when we IMed with Hussein and the rest of the guys. You had issues with people. You seemed to be sad about some situations and you didn't really know how to deal with them.

We chatted about it for awhile and today, I see you did a great move. A Roleplay environment like GCW or VWE is always far better when you don't have OOC problems with people. Here we have an honest apology, late, but one that everyone will gladly read and like I think. It's a nice to see you want to be back in Roleplay, Bryan. I had a lot of fun reading Mr.Showtime. Still a Legend for me. One of the bests.

I honestly hope to read him here in due time.

Goodnight all