Caveman(Promo)

[Joe Bruiser]

The camera comes on and you see what looks like the office of a Counselor. The camera shifts over to its left and you see.........Joe Bruiser? He has a BWWUUZZAA sitting next to him, he is also wearing a bright red suit with glasses on. He is looking down at some papers as the camera shifts to its right to see........187? Only this 187 is dressed in a suit? Hell would freeze over before you see either of these men in suits. 187 is also looking like..........a Caveman. The camera looks at Joe as he speaks.



[glow=blue,2,300]Well Mr. Adrian Taylor, I am so glad that you stopped by here today.[/glow]

Eww e ooh ahhh ahhh bing bang walla walla bing bang

[glow=blue,2,300]Nice to meet you to Mr. Taylor. First order of business, why are you here?[/glow]

Ding dong ding, dittitty jew. Hongy dig jee homie g dog.

[glow=blue,2,300]Huh, interesting. So you want HELP with a few of your problems?[/glow]

G

[glow=blue,2,300]Mind telling me what your problems are?[/glow]

DUDE hey to I see homie xyxy hoe hee oooooo I I.

[glow=blue,2,300]You want to confess to your sins?[/glow]

Giggity.

[glow=blue,2,300]Now, Mr. Taylor, if I may say, this is not the place to be confessing your sins. That would be at a church.[/glow]

Ca holey uity.

[glow=blue,2,300]Oh no Mr. Taylor this is not a church, this just so happens to be Bruisers Help Service. You can also call 1-800-555-BRUISER.[/glow]

Phone Rings, Joe answers.

[glow=blue,2,300]Hello Bruisers Mentally Ill help service, how may I help you? Oh yes Ursela, yeah I am in the middle of helping a retard. You know, one of those Dress up tards. Those people that think Halloween is EVERY day of the year.[/glow]

Joe looks at the Caveman 187 who seems to be........retarded?

[glow=blue,2,300]Yeah I'll get back to you on this one. My verdict won't be for another thirty minutes or so. Alright? Bye.[/glow]

Joe hangs up the phone.

[glow=blue,2,300]Sorry about that Mr. Taylor.[/glow]

Wa.

[glow=blue,2,300]So explain to me.......why you want to confess your sins?[/glow]

Huy oh ee I g diggity joe YEEEE HAWWW.

[glow=blue,2,300]You had a life changing experience? What kind of experience?[/glow]

Yi booo hee bo bee boo.

[glow=blue,2,300]You were hit in the head really hard by a guy named Joe Bruiser?[/glow]

GAAAAAA GOO GOO.

[glow=blue,2,300]He changed your life....you say? How is that?[/glow]

Ha ni zzzzz cvuy I dong i diggity do O O O.

[glow=blue,2,300]He made you realize that you were living in like a cave? You mean like......well a Caveman?[/glow]

ZOOOOOOOO fe fi fo fum. English bum. Bummy I zeoie.

[glow=blue,2,300]Well I mean.......you do have the look of a Caveman. He made you realize that you belong in prison or a mental hospital? Interesting.........[/glow]

Joe pauses for a moment.

[glow=blue,2,300]Tell me Mr. Taylor, do the words Mentally unstable, Paranoia, Depression, Anger, Hatred, Vengeful, and Two Pistols mean to you? [/glow]

Tee rarrrr rear.

[glow=blue,2,300]Oh no Mr. Taylor YOU do the Math.[/glow]

Yee Yall ki adi mundi.

[glow=blue,2,300]Really? Thats what DID make you 18U? Until Mr. Bruiser proved that you belonged into a Hospital after his GIGANTICALLY ENORMOUSLY HUGE ASS PUNCH to your head?[/glow]

T

[glow=blue,2,300]So you no longer call yourself 187?[/glow]

Je jew juuu joy. Hec v u ecto bruta.

[glow=blue,2,300]You now call yourself 911? Why is that?[/glow]

V c r u t f g m i o p iou.

Joe chuckles.

[glow=blue,2,300]Really now? You THINK you could REALLY Help SAVE someones life instead of TAKING someones life? Mr. Taylor sir if I may say, I don't think you could ever do that.[/glow]

Nay?

[glow=blue,2,300]Well I mean.......from your personal records I see the following:

Stole an old ladies dog.........
Got into a fight with a retarded kid.........
Called your mom a slut and half...........
Told one of your teachers that you had Sychillis, so she would feel sorry for you.............
Stripped down to nothing but underwear on your playground.......
Asked a lady to bend over? Not sure I understand that one.
Bought a Coke Bottle from a local convenient store, just to throw it out the window...........
Started a Fight Club Tournament on school grounds.........
Beat the shit out of a kid because he called you a skinny guy.......
Told everyone at school to call you.......Adrian "Ratail" Taylor. Because you strangled a squirrel and put the carcass to where the tail was hanging out the back of your pants?[/glow]

Joe looks up at he Cavemaned 187.



[glow=blue,2,300]Quite frankly Mr. Taylor, this worries me. I mean, I am SO DAMN GLAD that Joe Bruiser beat some seance into you. Your a brave CAVEman to come in here to talk to me. But this list right here........worries me. ESPECIALLY the last one...........

Robbed your parents because they wouldn't buy you a Condom?[/glow]

G

[glow=blue,2,300]Mr. Taylor YOU WERE TEN YEARS OLDDDDDDDD. You should NOT be thinking about such naughty things.[/glow]

Be huiuy see homie g dog and bj ku mlop soyy de dog di.

Joe's jaw drops to the floor and his eyes get as big as a pussy.

[glow=blue,2,300]Mr. Taylor PLEASE PLEASEEEEEEEE don't EVER talk about your parents doing that EVER AGAIN. Just because you saw your parents do it doesn't;t mean YOU should go and try it. Not just that, but the part about the Blow job and hair? EWWWWWWW Good googly moogly I can't even say it.[/glow]

Hi yu tou too too toot..........

[glow=blue,2,300]SHUT UP MR. TAYLOR RIGHT THIS MOMENT. NO MORE OF YOUR STORIES OF YOUR PARENTS GIGGITTYING IN THE BED.[/glow]

C senoir.

Joe calms down a bit.

Feed i o u ty oh g?

[glow=blue,2,300]No Mr. Taylor we don't have any food here.[/glow]

Caveman 187 hands Joe something.



[glow=blue,2,300]Oh yeah your commercial. It's so easy a Caveman can do it.[/glow]

Jee DOGGY DIGGITY HOMIE V B E A T Y O U.

[glow=blue,2,300]Whoa whoa CALM DOWN Mr. Taylor..........[/glow]

Ewww re ry ro ro.

[glow=blue,2,300]No we DO NOT serve food here. Do we look like a restaurant?[/glow]

NA NE NR AD DHY.

[glow=blue,2,300]Oh.......that is Ursala, yeah she always eats. As you could tell when you walked in, she is VERY overweight. Yokazuna style overweight.[/glow]

HI HU BOO BIG HW TU YC VSD.

[glow=blue,2,300]MR. TAYLOR NOOOOOOOOOO[/glow]

Cavemaned 187 jumps up and grabs the EXPENSIVE LAMP that Joe had sitting by him. He also grabs Joe's BWWUUZZAA and takes off running out of the room.

[glow=blue,2,300]MR. FUCKING TAYLOR?[/glow]

Cavemaned 187 runs out of the building as a car pulls up....... The car as few of Cavemaned 187's buddies in it. 187 jumps into the passenger seat as Joe runs out of the building and looks at 187. 187 and his buddies give Joe the finger.



[glow=blue,2,300]What the hell? There is more of them?[/glow]

All the Cavemened Gangstas continue to hold there fingers up while they scream........

EWWWWWW EEEEEE EWWWWWW AHHHHHH AHHHHHHHH DING DANG WALLA WALLA BING BANGGGGGGGGGGGGGG.

Then the driver spins tires as he takes off. They quickly run right into the back of A PARKED CAR. You then hear the horn going off and you see people running over towords them. The camera turns to Joe as he turns and looks at the camera.

[glow=blue,2,300]Well, I guess some things never change. This just goes to show you that CRIME DOESN'T PAY. Just look.........[/glow]

Joe points at the Cavemen.

[glow=blue,2,300]at them. There a PRIME example of what MENTALLY RETARDATION DOES TO YOU. It makes you THINK that you are a gangsta when you are really...........a Caveman. Sad story indeed, but oh well.....[/glow]

Joe looks at his watch.

[glow=blue,2,300]Well, The One with THE FRO has other clients to attend to. I just hope that all of you watching this have realized that 187............[/glow]

Joe turns to see 187 who has just fallen out out of the car.

[glow=blue,2,300]is just PLAIN RETARDED. He is stuck in EWWWWWW EWWWWW land or something.[/glow]

Joe laughs as he cracks open another BWWUUZZAA and takes a drink of it. He gives a thumbs up to the camera and walks off. The camera turns to see the Caveman resisting arrest by a few police man and screaming out a whole bunch of APE words that only The Planet of the Apes would understand. The camera fades to black........after a few seconds you hear Joe's voice and see a commercial of his Energy Drink.

[glow=blue,2,300]This Message was brought to you by Bruiser Entertainment, and sponsored by The BWWUUZZA Energy Drink. It gives me energy without slowing me down. If your CRUISEN FOR A BRUISEN then this is the drink for you.[/glow]

Camera fades to black.