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Post by Jean Bordeux on Jan 10, 2008 0:37:23 GMT -5
The camera comes on and you see The ring all set up to look like a News reporters desk. It's Raining Men then hist over the arena and Jean Bordeux comes out onto the stage with the biggest most GHEYIST smile ever on his face. Jean walks all sexually down the ramp and then climbs into the ring. Once in the ring he sits down at the desk where a ring worker comes and puts an ear mic into his ear. Jean is wearing the brightest Green suit you have ever seen in your life. Jean smiles as he gets the 3....2....1 and......
[glow=green,2,300]VELCOME VELCOME VELCOME, to ze news of GCW's. Iz amz JEAN Bordeux, and to starts zings off......[/glow]
Jean looks down at his list of papers.
[glow=green,2,300]Vuck Vildes AKA's Pornystaries vas zemoted AKA's vired as ze vadios host of ze GCW. Zetails of zis are stills a zittle shakies at ze moments. Vut, I spokes to Miss. Avandas Vallacies zis vornings and she saids he has gottens a zittle too Ghey to vees as vadio host. She zhen vent intom some story avout Miss Candice Angels and Vuck. Not so shores vhat zhat shits is all avouts.[/glow]
Jean begins to fan himself.
[glow=green,2,300]Woooo is zits hots in zheres? or iz is just ve? Must ve all ze gay shit I ams zalking avout.[/glow]
Jean Meows.
[glow=green,2,300]Anyvays, zetails on zis zopic are still a zittle scetchy.[/glow]
Jean looks back down at his papers.
[glow=green,2,300]Good news for yours trulies JEAN Bordeux, he has an allies as vell as ze zatg vartner. Miss Velly Vonarch Vutterflie Zips and MEEEZ have announced ours zittle team known as ze VRAT VACK. Ve vill ve zevuting on ze next Zok Ups. Kellies and Ve are glads to ve announcing zis. And don't forgets to vuy.....[/glow]
Jean pulls out a Bottle of Lotion.
[glow=green,2,300]Ze svecial edition for VEMVERS ONZIES to ze place known as Vath & Vody Vorks. It is ze Jean and Kellies SVECIAL Zotion for all of you SVECIAL Veeps out zheres. Its evens goes vell on your familiy jewleioes. VEZIEVE VE I haves tries hehe. Kellies vants everyones to knows zhat ze vrice for ze members are 3.99 plus zax.[/glow]
Jena looks back down at his papers.
[glow=green,2,300]In zother zews if yooz are a izegal Vexiacn, zhen you shoulds goos and zalks to Fernado Castrolioes. He vill helps teaches yooz ze vest vay to hides from ze volice. Alsos, is yuooz needs a haircuts vell ZONT even vother to gets vone. Just do vhat M. Joe Vruiser didz. JUST ZHET IT GROWS OUTS. Next, if your zooking for ze zocal whore in yurs towns. Zhen zook no futher then TENS. Zhe vill VAKE even the worst zitevares comes trues. Zast vut not zeast, have you evers vanted to gets ze SEXY and HARD AS A VOCK Vuscles? Zhen conzacts M. Brian Colombian shootings. Zhere, yuz vill zearn how zoo shoot yourself ups vith Steroids at nos cost to yooz. Except vaybe your penis, vut zhat only vatter to ve and Vuck.[/glow]
Jean looks back down at his papers.
[glow=green,2,300]Nows ve goes onto to ze veather vith our VERY SVECIAL VEATHERVAN.......JACOBS "VOTHERFUCKINS" VRUISE.[/glow]
Jean turns his chair around to the right to face the titantron.
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Jacob Cruise
GCW Titan
Yes, I am Jacob Cruise. But you may just call me Gaaaawd!
Posts: 149
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Post by Jacob Cruise on Jan 10, 2008 1:00:14 GMT -5
The titantron flashes to life showing none other than the one and only Jacob Cruise on its high definition screen. We see the poor man sitting alone in a darkened room, half empty bottle of Jack resting in his hand...
"Uh.....what!?"
We hear a voice from off camera shout something about 'GCW Weather'.
"Oh...oh yeah...tha....that...yeah...."
Cruise just sits there for a moment. Staring deeply into the camera lens. Its sort of like hes in a trance. Which, is suddenly broke out of nowhere as he stands up. The camera's current angle now cutting off his head. Slowly, he stumbles off camera, theres nothing but silence for a few moments now. That is, until we hear a sound like a blind being raised and a little more light floods into the room...
"Damn sunlight! Who died and made you so damn bright!"
Its pretty apparent by the sounds and voices that Cruise had gone over and peaked out a nearby window. Now, we see him stumble back into the camera's view as he re-takes his seat. Again, he sits there for a moment, doing nothing more than staring deep into the camera. We yet again hear an odd voice from out of nowhere saying something like..."Mr. Cruise, the weather."....And with that, Cruise suddenly sits up straight, raises his bottle of jack in a toasting motion and states:
"Its a raining bitchez!...back to you Tom!"
We see Cruise fall over sideways out of the chair just before the live titantron feed gets cut dead and the large screen fades back to black.... |
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Post by Jean Bordeux on Jan 10, 2008 2:05:46 GMT -5
Jean turns his seat back around and faces the camera
[glow=green,2,300]Vell yooz herds za van, it vill vain zis Mayhemz veekend.[/glow]
Jean looks down at his papers.
[glow=green,2,300]Zadies, if yuz are havings a zard times fitting intos zoos jeans or evens zor vanties? Zhen call Zennifer Zvrews at 555-5555. She has vee ables to helps yooz veel vetter avouts yourselves. As Miss. Zennifer Zrews has ze viggest ass in ze entire vorld, and has veen ables to pull to zill vhere her size zero zeans and vanties. Wooooo, tells mes zhat zhat shit aint rank when yoooz zee hers assholies? Next ups, if yurs intos guns and knives and shits zike zhat. Gos finds your socal Zin Vemmy, he vill sell yooz ANYS GUNS or KNIVES yooz needs, even if its on ze Ved Varket. He vill sell its to yoos at such a goods price it vill vake OJ Zelouse.[/glow]
Jean looks back down at his papers.
[glow=green,2,300]A Van vy ze names of Zick Zones, he alvays vears a hoody. So if yooz vant any izzegal shits zhats nots steriods. Zhen zook him ups, he vill help yooz. Buts donts gives avays his identitys to anyvones. As he vants to keeps it hiddens from EVERYVONES. Hints ze Hoody he vears and ze vig ass panties. If yooz are asians, and yooz needs somes zort of zaining in yur lifes? Zhen yooz needs to goes finds Yoshis Nagatas. Not onlies can hes zrain yooz at his Nagatas Islandies, vut he is actuallies Asians hehe. Yoo allz zook ze same anyvays and I havs never figured zhat shits outs. Zhat is vone zing zhat veallys grinds vy gears. ZING ZONG to yooz toooooos. "Toos Fines"? Miles Devines? Vhat kind of zames is zhat anyvays? Sounds zike one of zoes characters zhat Vel Vlank would do ze voice for. EAAAAAAAAA I'm FINES Zock. Good heavens, vut he is VERY FINE HEHE. [/glow]
Jean then leans over and marks down on a piece of paper.
Find Miles Devine and try to Wooo him.(The FINE-ess turns him on)
Below that you see........
Find Buck Wylde and Wooo him again.(Personality turns him on)
Find Cameron Kincaid and Wooo him in a differant way then before.(The Man in general turns him on)
Find Nova and try to Wooo him.(Horns turn him on)
Find Joe Bruiser and try to Wooo him.(FRO turns him on)
Find Kelly Monarch and go shopping.(Shopping turns him on)
Find TEN and try to figure out where he knows her from.(The wondering turns him on)
Jean looks back up at the camera.
[glow=green,2,300]Zorries avout zhats, I hads to do somezings for a minutes. Anyvays, Nova. Vhat in ze hells is uos vith zoes horny toadies on his heads? Its is very ayttarctives zoe hehe, vut still vy does he vear zhem? Who zoes vut I vould ZOVEEEEE to knows. [/glow]
Jean gives an evil smile to the camera and he speaks again.
[glow=green,2,300]Vrandons Panties? Vhat is its vith zese guys zike him zhat vakes zhem zink zhey can dos VHATEVER Ze Vant? Ze van is INSANIOES MON AMI. Avout two zo zhree veeks ago, M. Panties came outs to yooz vans and vretended to vees Ze Avenger. Vy in ze hells vould yooz vant to zress ups zike some zower classs vampire wannavees? Ze Van is as ugly as Zom Cruise and EWWWWWWWW Zhat is zust awful Zomie Z. Zhat vakes you ONE OF ZE RUBBISHES VAN IN ZE WORLD.[/glow]
Jean looks down and then back up.
[glow=green,2,300]Nowz ontooos ze sports vith......Zhat Nyukka Zin Mothasfuggioes' Vemmy.[/glow]
Jean turns to the titantron and................
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Jayceon Williams
GCW Titan
Your Own Personal Jesus... At Your Service...
Posts: 91
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Post by Jayceon Williams on Jan 12, 2008 2:24:17 GMT -5
And there he was... That nyukka... Your homie and mine... Jin... Mothafugginnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn'! Remmy.............. Remmy! ;D Playing the good ol' middle finger trumpet as he pops up on the screen. And the tune he was playing? Not the same as the one on Bruce Almighty. Nope. Threw his own spin on it. The ESPN theme song. Yeah boy! He then stopped and looked at the screen. Laughing to himself. Time to start. "What it is my nyukkas? What it do? It's ya boy! Jin Remmy here. Down and ready to give you the sports news. Let's get down to business... Shall we...? First up on the sports... Let's talk... Dare I say it...? Dare I even speak such taboo..? Do I give a fuck if it hurts yer feelings...? It's....
Dun!
Dun!
DUN!
"TEH RAWR! ROIDS! SCANDALS!" Remmy slaps his hands on the sides of his face. Making a shocked facial expression. OH NOEZ!!!!!!111!!!oneone!1 "That's right folks. Niggas these days... Poppin' pills... Taking injections... Whatever the fuck it takes to get yerself some muscle mass. Am I right folks? Yeah. I am. Do I know anyone taking these pills? Nah. Not really. But are there pople in this company looking like there is no way in HELL they could have EVER gained such a body naturally? Of course. Am I going to point em out? Pffft... Like I'm scared of you bitches... Of course... First up... "
BRYAN COLUMBAIN "Don't look so surprised. Look at that nyukka. Goddamn. Someone cast that bitch for the new Incredible Hulk movie. Sheeeeeeeeeesh. Don't even need computer graphics. Paint that sumbitch green and fix his hair. And you got yerself a living, breathing, 'roid munching machine... Come on now... That shit is completely visible to the untrained eye. You'd have to be fuggin' retarded to believe this behemouth was anything other than a walking ass injection. Yeah. That dude... ROID USER! Next..."
CHRISTINA GRUBER 
RADMIR ROMANOV 
LOGAN STEEL 
Anyways.... That's my sports news nyukkas.... Jin Remmy.... SMOKE ONE! Holla!And the titantron fades to black.... |
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