Battle of The Sexes Part 4,541,061

[Cameron Kincaid]

The night of the MindGames Pay Per View event, and the cameras are rolling backstage, where GCW's female half of the commentary team Graciela stands across from the tag team scheduled to face off against Amy Rhoades and The Boston* in tonight's ladder match. A bright smile on her face, she raises the microphone to her lips, introducing herself to the viewers as well as the two men before her...

Graciela: Welcome all to GCW Presents, Mind Games. I am Graciela, one half of GCW's own color commentary team, here backstage with two men who are slated to face off against two of their MayheM roster counterparts here tonight in a ladder match. With some very interesting stipulations.

Turning to face both Kincaid and Cruise, she starts the interview...

Graciela: Mr. Kincaid. You first. You seem to be half of the duo that make up being the catalyst for this weird make up for the match tonight. Rumor has it that there's some sort of...Awkward relationship between yourself and Miss Boston*, which is what provoked this match in the first place when she and Ms. Rhoades accepted the match challenge. What are your thoughts on the entire situation? I'm sure it's been heavy on your mind since the match was signed?

Cam stood there, motionless, arms folded across his chest, trying his best to not stare at this chicks rack. Shit was huge. Shaking it off he finally forced the words from his mouth...

"Well Graci...Can I call you Graci? Anyway...To be quite honest with you at this point? I have no idea WHAT is really going on between Lorelai and myself. Yes I said Lorelai. Not that Boston moniker she uses in the ring. I feel I've been through enough crap with her that I can at least be able to call her that."

"But the situation between us is a weird one I gotta say. I mean look at it from my perspective. I mean...I KNOW the woman likes me right? Yet, she does EVERYTHING in her freakin' power to one: Piss me off when I'm trying to do nothing but get to know her indecisive and confusing ass. two: Call me all kinds of names just because her extremely small breasted friend probably has hyped her head up while watching some damn movie marathon on the Lifetime channel. . And three: SHOW some interest in me, and then all of a sudden?...Just turn into freakin' Cujo on me in the blink of an eye. It's simple Graci. It really is. The girl's got it bad for me. I know it. You know it. Cruise here knows it. Hell everyone of those fans in the audience tonight knows it. That's why they're tuning in. If there was nothing there, they wouldn't even bother now would they?"

Graciela: "Well probably not Mr. Kincaid, probably not. Now, moving on if we can?"

"Whatever...Are those breasts real?..."

Graciela: "Moving on to those stipulations that we mentioned earlier. What DO they man if say, you and your partner here WERE to win tonight's ladder match? A date with Miss Boston* and Miss Rhoades doesn't seem like too good of an idea with the tension between you all in my opinion."

"Good idea? Hell it's an AWFUL idea. I had something else in mind as far as my stipulation between me and Lor but...I knew the FCC wouldn't let me say everything I'd want to do WHEN we win the match so...I kind of toned it down...A LOT...But yea, in a nutshell, she wants me, Amy wants Cruise too I bet. Hell, not like she's got much choice with a -A cup size rack now does she?"

Graciela: "Well, I um..."

"Exactly. Moving on."

Graciela only blinks a few times, shaking her head in disbelief as she turns her attention to the other half of this tag team tandem, asking the question...

Graciela:" Alright Mr. Cruise, you too have to be thinking long and hard about tonight's match. Miss Rhoades and Miss Boston* referred to you as a pig during their acceptance of the tag team match challenge a few days ago. Which HAD to anger you a bit at least? You simply cannot be excited about the possibility of having to spend out of ring time with the two ladies in question?"

[Jacob Cruise]

Cruise, who is sporting his new "Instant Asshole - Just Add Beer" t-shirt, pretends to not acknowledge her question at first. As if he were day dreaming about something. Noticing that his eyes were locked on her breats...Its not to hard to imagine what it was he was dreaming about...

"I uh...huh? Oh!...yeah, yeah....that shits ridiculous. Me? A pig? What would ever give ANYONE that impression? I'm far from it ma'am. I'm just a decent, hard working, good ole' country boy who has the utmost respect for the opposite sex..."

Cam shoots Cruise a quick look, as if to say, "Country boy? Your ass if from the big city." Which, he was. But damn, this chick...Graciela was it? She looked like the kind of chick that wanted to ride a bull. And if Cruise could pull of the country boy routine...Well, maybe she'd let out a big yee-haw and just ride him instead...

"Now...I....I really take offense to that whole being a 'pig' rumor they've been spreadin' about me...It hurts me...deep.....deeeeeeep down in here."

Cruise places both his hands over his heart and scrunches his face together as if to suppress tears...

"Cam...gimme another beer will ya man...I'm sorry Ms.Graciela...Cam's gonna need to take the questions here for a moment while I recover my composure..."

Cruise spoke in such a sad...pathetic tone....Dude should get a Grammy for that shit for real. She took it hook, line, and sinker...Ha...

"No, seriously Cam...where the hells my beer?"

[Cameron Kincaid]

"You don't need any beer right now bro'. Better be preparing your mind to go out tonight with the IBTC. Calm down. Take one of those pills I gave you earlier. The one's I found underneath 'Nando's bed? Try one."

Graciela: "Um, okay gentlemen, well moving on. This IS the first match you two are actually competing in together this season because of Mr. Kincaid's injury early in the season. How does it feel to finally attempt to get this so anticipated team underway in the tag team division this year?"

"Well, it feels good Graci. I mean, the tag division around here is so damn sorry that we feel we're like the freakin' savoirs of things as far as those tag titles go. I mean, yea there's like MAYBE two teams who should even be considered a team besides us but...For the most part either they're some sci-fi monster rip off characters, from the inner city and would rather pop a cap in our asses way more than wrestle us, or they're just absent asses."

"..."

"Like the tag champs are most of the time. But...You didn't hear that from me so."

Graciela: "Oh, okay. I take it that means that you'll be making a run at those titles very soon then? Would be veeeeery interesting to see that happen."

"Yea, probably after we show the ladies how it's properly done tonight. I mean it's the least we can do I think. We've tagged together before so we ultimately have the advantage. Their some thrown together women's rights group basically. Not that there's anything wrong with that but...They have like...No cause for the things they say about us in front of the fans out there. Pigs and all this other derogatory talk...Just not warranted at all if you ask me. I thought Lorelai had better morals and manners than that. I'm disappointed. But I know she just needs some alone time with good ol ' Cam is all. I'll straighten her out in NO time. If I can chip away at that ice cap surrounding that heart of hers. Things gotta be black and cold by now... Sheeesh."

"..."

"Okay now it's killing me...Those aren't real are they?...The breasts I mean..."

[Jacob Cruise]

"Come on now Cam! That shits rude, you don't ask a woman if her breasts are real or not..."

Graciela: Well thank you Mr.Cruise I was...

Before she could finish..

"Especially when there obviously fake. Come on man, you know bitchez don't like it when you pull attention to their fake titties....Step up your game bro. Your never gonna get any Boston* tail acting like that..."

Way to be Cruise, never passing up the opportunity to be an asshole. Oh well, I think his little 'country boy' act had just become transparent. That is, seeing as how Graciela seemed to see right through him now.

With a smile on his face, Cruise continues...

"Now...Everyone knows they should be around our waist already....I'm talking about the tag titles now..Not our opponents tonight...Psht, and ya'll call me a pig....You see, theres no other team that comes even close to the combined talent of yours truly and Mr.Cameron Kincaid....Sadly, those two lovely ladies are gonna have to find that out the hard way tonight..."

Graciela: You guys both seem rather confident that you will win. What if you lose though? You both have to give up drinking for a year...Or Mr.Kincaid has to give it up for two years...The details are a bit fuzzy there....But none the less...what if you do lose?

"And what if your titties just explode right here and now from being blown up to damn big? Shit could happen...but it ain't gonna...same saying applies for our match tonight...I mean, with my fear of heights and all...We could lose....but we ain't gonna...and thats that...."

Graciela: But, if you two have to go a year without drinking, could you handle it?

Cruise releases a short sigh..

"Cam...man...take that one for me will ya? I don't feel like repeating myself......What the hell did I do with that pill from under Nando's bed....."

[Cameron Kincaid]

"Could I handle it? If we lose and I have to stop drinking for a year and..."

A quick glance in Cruise's direction and he notices the worried look on his face. Shaking his head as he turns back to Graciela once again...

"I'm sorry. TWO years for me since this one here has no balls. If that happens? Christ, I'll be honest about that one. No alcohol for two years? And on top of that, no "Boston butt" for me? Man...I'd be very, very depressed. I'd probably jerk myself to damn death out of boredom or somethin'. Not sure. "

"..."

"Well yea I would. I'll just be honest. Maybe record one of Lor's entrances and jack off to it over and over again until the skin on the inside of my palms rubbed off. I would. Like the time 'Nando tried for the Guiness Book of World Record for masturbating the most times in a 24 hour time span. Think he got up to like 125 or somethin' like that. Hands starting chaffing and bleeding after that so he had to stop right. So..."

Graciela:"Okay! Well, I think this interview has run it's course and...Um, we thank you both for the time and hope you both do well in tonight's contest. Any last words? Mr. Kincaid? Mr. Cruise?"

[Jacob Cruise]

"Last words?"

Cruise looks down to the floor for a moment, when his head slowly raises back up to make eye contact with the camera, a serious look now graces his face...

"Tonight....We will scale the ladder...and, like the beasts we are...will win our match. And after that...We will have the date of our lives with two lovely ladies.....and after that....*FCC Edit*. And thats all I have to say...."

With that said, both Cam and Cruise leave camera view. Man, that last part was somehting wild wasn't it?

Graciela: Well...I've never...I guess, thats it...back to...

Cruise comes running back onto the scene...

"Suck a dick!!, suck a dick!!, suck a dick!!!..."

Damn, this pills hit hard and fast. We see Cam rush back onto the scene to pull Cruise away. They are off screen for a second before Cruise comes flying out of nowhere again...

"Take that FCC! Suckadick!..."

Cam pulls him away again as the scene fades to black....

THE END