IKYA: The Debut Edition, The Exodus -o2a-

[PornStar]

{The purpose of IKYA Radio is to serve as a Sirius Radio Broadcast capable of being about anything and everything, including match build-ups, which PornStar will talk about should it have caught his interest. This is a direct relation to previous Familia WKYA Radio threads. Jason is lewd and crude and will be as such when you call, and could probably insult you in the strangest of ways, but it all 1.) Builds Character, and 2.) Promotes your match, so give him a call.}

Announcer: "Yes, it's that time, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls... to

[/color]

CRANK THAT MOTHERFUCKIN' SHIT RIGHT THE FUCK UP SO YOUR GRANDMA CAN STRADDLE THE SPEAKERS AND GET OFF!!!![/font]

The one, the only, bigger, more tasty AND better smelling cock than yours...

Iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit's..........................[/color]

PORNSTAR!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sirius, Motherfuckers!"

Cue up BuckCherry's "PornoStar" with Buck shouting the chorus...

"DON'T YOU KNOW WE FUCK FOR MONEY, I'M A BIG DICKED MOTHERFUCKING PORNO STAR!!!!!!!!!!!!"

GOD-DAMN RIGHT we're on motherfuckin' Sirius, each and every one of you cocksuckin' sumbitches!!! We all heard it by now... to keep my job, and to keep my fuggin' pay... I'm on Mandy's FCC nut-sack... yeah, blows, right? A muzzled PornStar's like gettin' a blowjob from a piranha, I'll tell ya what. It ain't gonna be as cool as you originally fuckin' thought it'd be... so here we are... in un-regulated...

SATELLITE LAND!!!!

And I can be as fuckin' vulgar as I wanna be... fuck, I may start counting how many times I say fuck right here... y'know how rough it is to not say my favorite word that is also my main career choice?

I mean... yeah, sure... pwnin' bitches is fun and all... y'know... when you can back it up with BEING someone instead of just yawningly talkin' shit... y'know... like I obviously mastered... but, Christ. Gettin' Pussy and doin' all kinds of illegal and degrading things to it is my fuckin' life man... I mean... seriously... which one o' you assholes out there seriously don't wanna spread some broad open with them gyno sticks, shove a hamster up there and then fuck her in the ass?

I have.

And I ain't ashamed about it either...[/color]



Presents...

I KICK YOUR ASS RADIO!

With Buck Wylde, AKA Jason Arielle, AKA PornStar, AKA King Large-Cock, AKA WarCrafts single not-virgin, AKA WarCraft's true life Orc Pimp, AKA He doesn't play WarCraft...

Brought to you commercial free.

Now, we'll be right back after this FAMILIAr commercial...


"Man... I really wish I was good enough to have thought about that..."

"What is it, Tommy?"

"Well, Rufus, see, Mikey down the street heard of this thing called the Shocker... and... I wish I thought of that..."

"Shocker? What's that little Tommy?"

"Well, it's where you kinda, take your fingers, leave them all out but the ring finger... and it's... one in the stink, and two in the pink, Rufus... Mikey's doing it to his girlfriend right now! I wish I thought of something that cool...

"Well, Tommy, now you can! Take credit for it!"

"Credit? How?"

"That's simple Tommy... Enroll in...



And all that credit can be yours just like you thought of it!"

"WOW, COOL!!!"

*End Commercial*

"Yep, Takin' Credit school, thought up solely by me, cuz that's what MY takin' credit school has taught me! I mean, they call me Mr. Gimmick Infringement for a reason... and not only cuz I gave myself that nickname... I mean... seriously, how cool is it, to sit here, and straight faced, take credit for something like it was you?

Here... I'll show you...

I made Kramer...



Snap on stage.

...Yep. That was me. Totally... and... well...

... y'know what? I can't do that... I'm playin' my fuckin' card...



It wasn't me who did that... it was white people. For the loss. Them schemin' bastards.

....


ANYWAYS... now that that touchy subject button's been pushed... *ahem*... I guess we can take me a caller, huh?

1-800-FAMF'NU-1

Give it a ring, and fuckin' bore the piss outta me with your rants you think are so fuckin' important.

Here... got one now...

CALLER!!!

My dicks in yer ear!!!!"[/center]


Yes, this is seriously open to anyone. Give Buck a call and say hi

[PornStar]

Caller: "Hi... ahhhh... I was calling... to ask...

Well... What's the shocker? I mean, I heard it in your commercial and all... but... ahhhh....

Think my wife will like it?"

Buck gets a blank look on his face.

"You mean to tell me you never heard of two in the goo, one in the pooh?"

....

Motherfucker! Alright... Shocker... take yer hand... Bring the ring finger down, grab that motherfucker with yer thumb.... and stick them index and middle fingers together and leave yer pinky stickin' out. Go up to yer wife, say "Bend over, Toots..."

AND THEN SLAM THAT SHIT RIGHT INTO THERE! She's gonna be hooked, I tell ya what. And if not? Call ADAM... The American Divorce Assosciation for Men... if yer in Michigan.



Shocker, yo... Changin' lives by the insert...

Now!........"

*papers can be heard rustling in the background...*

"Miss, Wallace. I know you ain't diggin' hearing me on



...breakin' each and every rule I read in that contract... but here's the deal. I found me a loophole... Deal with it, bitches! Ain't no memo goin' to Candi Cane... MY Candi Cane today!!!

Well, there prolly is... BUT IT'S WITHOUT MERIT!!!

In any case... time ta be doin' mah yob...

Figure I gotta make this SOMEWHAT worthwhile since I know we always ran motherfucker's into the ground with this show... and victim numero uno with the "I suck too much to EVAR PWN Award of the day?"



ANTHONY RAMIREZ

"Mother fucker! You're in a goddamn wrestlin' ring... who in the fuck do you think you are just handing out a nutshot? Me? STEALING MY GIMMICK!!!

Fuck no you panty-waist retarded motherfucker....

I hope Jin shoots you in the fuggin' face after he's done whippin' yer ass all over the goddamn ring, I really do. It's bad enough I had to rely on Hood-speak as a proper translater for just what the bloody hell was goin' on during that entire "Face-off" jack-off-a-thon you called a promo in the ring... but then you just kick him in the balls and run away like a l'il bitch?

Buck Wylde's first pick for Slaughter O' the Night at Exodus?

Jin Remmy takin' his blunt and extinguishing the burning herbal embers in yer eyes after he's done smokin' yer ass. Nuff said.

Time to take a call..."

Call on up.

[Jayceon Williams]

The voice blaring through the phone came on saying....

"Ayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! What it is my nyukkaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!? ;D

Who just happened to be scrolling through he radio waves? Just happened to catch the sound of Buck on a rant? Why it's Jin mothafuggin' Remmy my nyukkas. And the dude was laughing his ass off hearing what Buck said about Ramirez. Sad part is... The shit was true. Remmy just had to call in and say what up to the nyukka Buck.

"You know what it is. Jin mothafuggin' Remmy on yer radio waves. Aha! Was just checkin' shit out. Looking to see if there was any good music on and I caught this radio show. Goddamn. Tellin' nyukkas what the business is and letting em know Ramirez the punk bitch we all seen he was. Dude gonna low blow and run like a pussy. The fuck kind of shit is that? Haha. Dude kick like a bitch though. My grandma kick harder than that fool. And she hitting 80 years old. Hahaha. He lucky I don't find his ass backstage right this very minute and show him what it really means to throw down. What it is Buck? Whatcha got going on in the booth my nyukka?"

[PornStar]

"Well, funny you should ask. I got me some blonde comin' in from back in Toronto that I kicked outta the fed by jackin' off on her face and slappin' a 20 dollar bill on that shit man...

She's comin' in to catch hotdogs in her mouth from my hot dog catapult... since. y'know... she's used to weiner slidin' right down her esophogus.

She might not choke on them skinny li'l things since we're usin' them "Still shorter than Buck" Footlong hotdogs... but, hell... WHEN I'm done with her man? She's gonna find out ALL OVER AGAIN what the hell a gag reflex is, know what I'm sayin'?"

[Jayceon Williams]

A hotdog catapult? The hell? Jin couldn't help but burst out laughing. This nigga was worse than Howard Stern on the radio. Launching hotdogs at a chick's throat. Only Buck. Only Buck would come off with some crazy shit like that.

"Hahahahaha. Dayumn. Launching hotdogs in her mouth? With a damn hotdog catapult? I ain't ever heard of some shit like that. That's funny as fuck. That shit is funny. You crazy as fuck Buck. Damn crazy. Where you come up with an idea like that?

Whatcha gonna do? Have some kind of contest with that? Man, whatcha need to do is... Call up some more chicks right... Some girls with a big ass mouth right.... and bring them to the radio station..... And have yerself a little contest with em. See who can catch the most wieners in they jaw. ;D Give em a prize for who can hold the most meat in their mouth without gagging. I'll letcha run with that one. ;D Can only imagine what a Buck Wylde prize for a contest like that would be."

[PornStar]

"We can thank Family Guy for givin' me the idear to rip off... and Jin?

Your logic is flawless.

More bitches come in... we're gonna shoot as many sexual parody hot dogs down their mouths as we can before they choke... and the winner gets to take on the real challenge... the long arm of PornStar... Loser? She get's to take a shit on Anthony Ramirez's chest, since I hear 'round the grapevine he digs that shit. And, could you imagine her just, tryin' to get through business, no magazine in hand, and havin' to watch Ramirez's tiny, supplement-shrunk wang growing with each grunt and clench comin' from her?

Bitches best swallow. For real.

Wanna come watch?"

[Jayceon Williams]

"Oh, for real? Gonna let me up in the booth and check this out? Then you ain't even gotta say no more. Me? Miss this? Nah, you fuggin' know it man. You already fuggin' know I ain't gonna miss this. Lemme know where the building is at and I'm on my way. I can't miss this shit. Just can't. This gonna be one of those priceless moments. As a matter of fact, I'ma get this recorded and toss it up on YouTube or MySpace. Let all the little virgin internet nerds have a field day with that shit. Drop knowledge on they asses and let em know what they are missing out on. Instead of sitting in their parents basement, playing Warcraft for hours and hours on end, hacking the game for nude models or fucking with the female characters, jacking off and shit. Fuck that. Let them nerds take a peek at this. Watch a bitch choke on a dog. Hell, might even start selling the video. Exclusive shit. $29.99 nyukka. A priceless moment like this? Gonna stick in a nigga mind for years to come and I'ma be telling my Grandchildren about the time I watched a chick take like ten hotdogs to the jaw. Hahahahaha. Tell me where you holding this radio show and I'm coming. Shits gonna be great."

[PornStar]

"Basement of the GC-Dub tower, yo. Show up...

1 thing though...

All video properties are the sole exclusive property of...



And may not be used without the proper or expressed written consent of myself, PornStar, Buck Wylde, Your Mother's Milkman or Plumber.

C'mon down, Jin, grab a seat and spit some shit on the IKYA radio waves."

[Jayceon Williams]

"Cool, cool. Split the profits witcha nyukka. No problem with that. Gotta make that money. Lemme just grab a camera while I'm coming and we'll set it off right. I'm on my way homie. Jin Remmy nyukkas! Smoke one!"

*CLICK*

And with that... Remmy was off the phone... And on his way to the GCW Tower's basement...

[PornStar]

SLOTHLY 1'S BOOK REVIEWS



This month, I reviewed the FamPublications Groundbreaking best seller:

"Pimpilicious: The Entire Guide to Getting Bitches 2 Sell Their Pussy for YOUR Benefit" By Dice Dillinger.

I must say... just... wow... this book floored me. For real. I was sitting on the toilet, wondering, just what I was going to do... Level up my paladin, or go out and maybe look at a female or two while sipping on a Shirley Temple... and I must say, this book made me go out, and not only look at a female or two... but to try to pimp them.

I still haven't mastered the entire... "Getting them to sell their pussy for your benefit" aspect... I can say that I have mastered the fine art of the...

Pimp Slap.

Recieving it.

But, after reading this gem, I KNOW that I will one day "Pimp a Broad" into taking my virginity, I can promise you that. In fact, the hot-pockets... they stop agreeing with me about five minutes ago... so, I'll be working on finishing another titilating chapter of Dice's masterpiece.

I give it four farts, out of five."

[Jean Bordeux]

Pornstar receives a call, and answers it.

[glow=green,2,300]Vhat is zup M. Pornstar?[/glow]

Pornstar nearly shits himself when he herd the voice of Jean Bordeux on the other end.

[glow=green,2,300]Iz herds yuz haves a vadio shows? So Iz decideds tooz ve vone of ze foist guests on ze show hehe. So how haves yuz veen since we had our... zittle moment vack vhen Iz avvived? I vent to finds yuz in zur zocker vroom a few zays agos, vut yuz vernt zhere.[/glow]

Jean waits for a response.

[PornStar]

"Goddamn... son, of, a, bitch...

Why the fuck you callin' me man? Just cuz I gotta bigger dick than you don't mean you get ta suck it! I mean, shit leave that for the orangutain broads...

WHICH....

Jean Bordeux goes to the Zoo is coming out on DVD soon, courtesy of



Watch Jean Bordeux get it on with an ACTUAL FEMALE!!!

But... what is he going to do, when he wakes up, and not only smells Pussy, but see's he's just face-shagged a gigantic ape?

Pick up the DVD and find out!

Now, back to you, homo...

Stay outta my shit. You bein' a guest on my show in the same room? Hell nah.

You get a bullet-proof, sound-proof room with no air-holes or vents. Sound good?"

[Jean Bordeux]

[glow=green,2,300]Noz vespect? No vespect for za man viz za husband. Zhat is vhat its alvays is, all cuss hes gots himself a huvand. Vullet vroof vroom heyz? Sounds zike zhat is vhat yuz needs to keep yurs 10 incher avya from ve hehe. [/glow]

Jean laughs.

[glow=green,2,300]Or vaybe its iz somezings zhat zi needs tooz keeps Hilaryz Clintons avay froms yuz. Or vaybe Michale Zackson or Varbara Stresiand, or hell even Vichard Zimmons. I ams goods friends vith Zellen Zegenerous, vaybe ve can set zis up for yus M. Pornystary. I am zurs it vould vake yurs days, it vould vake vine hehe.[/glow]

Jean waits for a response.

[PornStar]

"Stick me with Ellen... she ain't gonna be no dyke no more after that I guarantee it...

*CLICK*

"We here at IKYA Radio do not condone the words that leave the cock-sucker of Jean Bordeux, nor, do we condone his existance.

Just... don't ignore him. That's when bad stuff is likely to happen.

*ahem...*

Jason drums his fingers on the counter...

"And no, I ain't sayin' nothin' bout Gays Vs Lesbians, the Exodus, happenin' at our li'l upcomin' PPV either... fuck that. Him and JenDrew can whip the piss outta each other and I don't think I care who wins.

NEXT!!!"

[Joe Bruiser]

Joe takes a seat in his new locker room, he is listening to Pornstars radio show. Joe smiles when he decides to give an old friend a call.

*RING RING......RING RING*

[glow=blue,2,300]Damn radio shows, always want you to be the twelth caller or some shit.[/glow]

*RING RING......RING RING*