...Or Forever Hold Your Peace {Invite}

[Cameron Kincaid]

Cam's eyes fluttered, trying to fully open them as he could feel a small throbbing pain in the back of his head...Slowly they did open, blinking almost with each second that passed by...Moments later he began to come back to consciousness, feeling his body almost suspended in mid-air by something...Something holding him up. His head tilted back, glancing up to see...

Jacob?

Holding him up barely, his legs a bit wobbly as he began to struggle to stand to his feet with the help of his partner. Seconds later he found himself almost back to a standing point of position, still not sure what was going on as Jacob helped to support his weight along with his own efforts. His ears then began to catch the faint sounds of...Of some kind of music playing in the background, his eyes slowly regaining focus as he notices the room they were located in filled with people. Trying to force something from his mouth, he's clearly in a state of confusion and disarray...

"Jac...Jacob what in the he...Where am I, what..."

His eyes slowly lower after a hard cough, slowly widening as he realized the attire he was wearing. A...A black tuxedo?!!? What in the fuckin' hell had Jacob gotten him into now?

Instantly he began to feel a sense of panic, glancing around the room at a quicker rate, seeing the flowers, the piano player and hell even a half bald priest a few feet from where they stood, all the while hearing the snickering underneath Jacob's breath. Turning to him he once again, widened his eyes, stuttering as he spoke again...

"Dude!!!...What...What'd you do man? And...Why do you have on a tux too? You're...You're tryin' to marry me you gay bastard aren't you?!!? Where's 'Nando at...I know he had something to do with this crap..."

He pulls away from his partner in crime, almost stumbling to the ground, barely catching himself with one arm on the ground. He was almost frantic now and his head felt like it had been kicked several hundred times over by either Shawn Michaels or one pissed off donkey. Once again his eyes fluttered as he was suddenly motionless, the music changing to something that signaled the...The...Coming of the bride?

That's when his attention was turned towards the entrance at the end of the aisle where he now struggled to get back to his feet in...His mouth dropping wide open as he saw who was coming down to...To...Marry him?

[Jacob Cruise]

Jacob just shakes his head in disappointment. Hiding the small laugh forming beneath his breath all the while.

"Not even cool man. Don't even tell me you got a girl, little lone that your getting married. Then, you still don't even have the balls to call me when your about to hit the chapel. Make her call me and ask me to fly all the way out here to Las Vegas to be your best man. Dude, if I had better friends....or any other friends for that matter...you and me wouldn't be homies...for real....Your a lucky bastard you got me as your best bro...Having the damn nerve to call me gay.....Get your ass up to wherever the hell your suppose to be standing..."

Cruise, somewhat forcefully because of Kincaids little comment, now helps Cam over to stand infront of the priest. Cruise knew something wasn't right about all this. But, hey...paybacks a bitch. And Cruise was sure he owed Cam for something. If not, well, Cam would do something eventually that deserved payback. So, this was just getting a head start...

"Come on man...Stand up straight...This is your wedding after all. Oh, and since im so nice....I even hired a camera crew to record it all...You'll remember this forever...and ever....just think of that as your wedding present....."

With a smile on his face, Cruise pats Cam on the back. What a brilliant, yet devious smile it was. He stops speaking for a moment as the music signifying the bride's arrival began to play...

"Oh, here she comes man...Its about time!"

[Addison Grey]

It was funny how helpless people were when they were sleeping. It was funny how gullible a person's friends can be, when given the right persuasion, and it was funny how easy it was for Alexis to entirely pull this off. Cameron shouldn't have let Addison drive just a day before, because who would have thought that this lingering personality hiding within the person known as "Addison Grey," would have sparked out, with quite the idea to get revenge for the little stunt Boston* pulled at the last pay-per-view; convincing Cameron to propose to her, only for her to reject him. What kind of bitch plans her own proposal, only to deny? Heh, it was only time before she came running through those chapel doors anyways, completely in awe at the entire situation. Alexis was just lucky she shared the same voice as Addison, all she had to do was die-down her own Hispanic accent, and poof, instant friendly fools.

Smirking on her way down the aisle, for it was only a matter of time before Cameron woke up from Alexis's own sleeping potion (and a few blows to the head), she grew excited. The perfect revenge. The perfect plan. Everything was running so perfectly. Her hair now had red-strands in it, giving her that punkish-look Alexis always craved. Her dress was strapless, and one would even go as far to say "elegantly slutty," if such a term wasn't oxymoronic. Her dress was a deep black, with a long tail trailing behind her. Her veil perfectly matching the elegance of her dress, covering her face in just the perfect of matters. Did she love Cameron? Yes, Alexis loved Cameron with every piece of her heart. Did Addison love Cameron? Maybe as just a friend, and nothing more. But what seemed certain, was that both people involved, rather they were sane or a little tipsy, were in for the moment of their lifetimes.

"Lorelai should be here any moment," she thought to herself, her smirk growing more eviler by the second, "Once she gets here, won't she be surprised." She mentally began to laugh at her brilliance. Not only will she be marrying the man of her life, but getting revenge to the woman she despised the most. Two birds with one stone. Two birds with one stone.

[Cameron Kincaid]

"Oh my freakin' god Jacob...What the hell...What's going on here and..."

"..."

"She...She's not...She can't be this damn crazy...Dude you don't understand. I've been freakin' "Cam-Napped" You gotta get me out of here some kind of way bro'. I didn't agree to this shit. Bitch must have slipped some GHB in my..."

"..."

His words stopped suddenly, looking at Addi...No...Alexis, making her way down the aisle...In her wedding dress...*Gulp!* That evil smirk on her face. You know the one of a pedophile when he passes by a McDonald's on a hot day where the kids are ALL without shirts and that cold ass ice cream is just sliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiding down their bodies and...

You get the point...THAT was this bitch right now!

His steps began to carry him backwards, only feeling Jacob's hand in the center of his back, as if pushing him back towards the approaching doom he seemed to be destined to face tonight. He shook his head back and forth, wanting to run like hell, dive out of window, have 'Nando do a drive by with his lawnmower to rescue him or something...He looked around the chapel, noticing the countless amount of people here for the ceremony and realized he didn't know a damn single one of em'...The fuck is this shit?!!?

Her slow steps only carried her closer, and closer and closer to where he stood almost frozen in fear. While this son of a bitch Jacob was standing there wreaking of cheap liquor and smiling so hard it looked as if his teeth were attempting to escape from the prison that was his mouth. Son freakin' friends. He stood his ground, almost telling himself that he could stand up to her, get himself out of this, but he knew better. This bitch would kill him, Jacob, the priest after shoving that bible up his ass, and every other man and woman IN this building. He had to be calm, and make sure not to piss her off too much, so as she approached...

"Addis...Err...Alexis?...Heh...Look ummm...Maybe we...Look this is all moving a bit too fast for me and...Look you're cool and all but...You're cool but...I mean you got nice tits and all of that and...But you're just one crazy bitch and I won't marry you. I'm sorry I...I just...Won't...Now I demand you stop this madness...And stop it...Now..."

Poor Cam...Doesn't know what he's just done. Church violence FTW? Either way it should be good to watch. Oh you might wanna duck too Jacob.

[Addison Grey]

Alexis merely gave Cameron an evil stare, as she tried to convince Cameron to stay. Putting on her Addison face, and voice, she continues, "Oh, but Cameron...we've known each other for years, this can't be moving fast, you know we've both wanted this for years." She places her hand on his shoulder, rubbing it to try and calm him down. "Please, this is the best for the two of us. We've both been alone for so long, and I've been longing for some type of relationship since she died Cameron." She quickly puts on fake tears, "It's been so hard...and I want to be happy, you make me happy Cameron." The crowd watching lets out an "awww" in unison, as Alexis tried to hold back a smirk. "Please Cameron, for us; for me." She then gives him the puppy dog eyes, and leans over on her tip-toes to whisper into his ear while grinding her teeth, "Get back where you belong, bitch. I've spent too much for this to go wrong now." She then groped his crotch area with her free hand, to tell him she meant business. "You still want this, don't you? Don't you?" Cracking a smile, assuming Cameron got the message, as she lets go, continues to walk up the aisle. "Now's not the time to get cold feet honey, we've been going out for years now, we're practically married to begin with." She announces to the crowd, in a sarcastic tone, sounding as happy as a pseudo-Addison could be.

[Jacob Cruise]

"Yeah bro, its just cold feet. You'll get over it when honeymoon time comes. Oh, and I'm paying this camera crew by the hour...So, yeah...can we rush this a bit?"

Thinking this was all fun and games, and being slightly to liquored up to realize that there was more to this, Cruise continues to help Cam towards the alter. That is, till he sees Cam's nuts nearly being ripped off and slightly over hears what Addison whispers...That sobered him up fast....now whispering to himself...

"What have I done? Man, I got to save my buddy....but how?..."

He needed a distraction....

"Look! Is that Elvis!?"

In Vegas, that really didn't work...at all. Crap, now what? Panic? Oh well, he did all he could do. Poor Kincaid...

[Cameron Kincaid]

"Uunngggh...Oh Christ my...Nuts...Oh god pleeeeeeaaaaase bless my balls...Ouch..."

All Cam could muster after that little...Squeeze of hers. Crushing his damn balls in her hands. Damn that woman was powerful when she was pissed. And Jacob's dumbass screaming out something about Elvis when there's like FORTY OF THOSE SUMBITCHES IN THIS BUILDING ALONE?!!? Wow...What a master plan JACOB!

Cameron could barely even walk now, his legs almost having to assist one another up the aisle with the look of panic on his face as Jacob escorted him up towards where this goat mouthed ass priest was waiting for him to...To...Say I do...

Closer and closer they became...The music almost seeming to be getting louder and louder with each step...Well each inch Jacob drug his no testicle having ass anyway. Before he knew it he was what seemed to be only inches away from those rotten ass teeth on this old bastard holding the bible firmly in his grasp. Smiling from ear to ear, no teeth in between, waiting to begin the ceremony.

The music started to subside slowly, everyone settling into their positions as well as those here to witness the ceremony taking their seats in anticipation of what was next to come. Seconds passed...A few more passed...And then the words could be heard from the priest as the room was near engulfed in silence...

"Dearly beloved, we are gathered together in the sight of God and in the face of this company, to join together this man and this woman in holy Matrimony. This mystical union is not to be entered into lightly, or unadvisedly, but reverently, discreetly, advisedly, soberly, and in the fear of God. Into this holy estate these two persons present come now to be joined."

Cam's attention had all but faded into nothingness by this time. Barely even hearing the preachers words. His thoughts clouding his mind as he could STILL hear Jacob snickering no more than a few feet away from where he stood. So lost in his thoughts that the priest had to call on his name several times to get his attention again...

"Son? SON?!!?"

His eyes quickly snapped back to those of the priest, as wide as could be as he responded...

"Huh?...Err...Sir?"

"Pay attention son. I'll do this one more time. Don't keep this lady waiting any longer. *AHEM*"

"Cameron,Do you take this woman to be your wedded wife, to live together in the holy estate of Matrimony? Will you love her, comfort her, honor and keep her in sickness and in health; forsaking all others, keep only unto her, so long as you both shall live?"

His mouth dropped open...Nothing coming out as he turned to face Addi...Damnit Alexis, still unable to form any words. His attention then shifted back to the priest, who only shook his head in Cam's direction as if to push him on to say those two words that would officially began to seal the deal...Yet he said nothing. Turning to face Alexis again, he shook his head, unable to even force the words from his mouth...He knew she wouldn't take this too well and it could mean bad news for his balls...or what was left of them...

[Fernando Castro]

Both doors of the chapel swing wide ass open, Everybody's Favorite Mexican comes stumblin' on through...

Piss ass drunk.

And stuff.

Fernando grasps onto the closest pew, breathing heavily. Why the hell were these people in here again? Why the hell was he in here? Was he about to get another fuggin' ex-wife? Let's find out...

"HEY!!!!!!!!!! They said I can't be at the slots no more without any quarters...

ya'll got any? Shit was a comfy pass out spot...

*burp*..."

A little something came up with that one. Wiping his lips, he winks at a nearby chica, before slowly opening his eyes, looking around through blurred vision.

"HEY! Cam! Didn't I see Jacob grab you like that in the locker room?"

[Addison Grey]

Alexis's nose began to crunch, with the fury she was feeling right now, waiting for Cameron to admit his love to her. Didn't Cameron love her? Didn't Cameron claim his love for her just the other night? I mean,--suddenly, her train of thought was interrupted when the sound of chapel doors smashed open, and as Alexis smiled, assuming it was Lorelai, she instantly got just as angry when Fernando came stumbling in. Letting out a sigh, she walks up to him, and jams her index finger onto his chest, ignoring to hide her accent. "Sit down, and shut up. This isn't your usual novella, I'm getting married!" Wanting to kick him the shin, or at least slap him in the face, she maintains herself, and scurries herself back up towards her spot, giving a Cameron a "you better do this" look; her hands clenched as fists.

[Fernando Castro]

"....

Hehehee......"

Fernando's face gets red, laughing his ass off, drunk ass sitting down in the pew and burying his face. Cam's gettin' married... rofl...

"HEY! CAM!!! Where tha fuck ya registered at!!! I wanna buy you a quesadilla maker!!!"

[Jacob Cruise]

Whispering to Cam..

"Damn dude...your gonna have to let me borrow that. I love quesadillas."

Cam gives Cruise a pissed off look..

"What!? Quesadillas are freaking awesome..."

[Cameron Kincaid]

Damnit. Mexican fucker. Why not come in with one of those trusty switchblades they always seem to have. On EVERY episode of COPS you have one but now it's nowhere to be seen? Bullshit. He was in on this shit probably.

He felt the look that Alexis gave him, as the priest seemed to be waiting for him still. He swallows hard, the lump feeling like a damn brick making it's way down his throat before trying to respond, trying to buy himself some time...

"Umm...I ahhh...Errr..."

"Well? Do you son?"

"Umm...Well...Hold on now...I Mean...For...For as long as we both shall live is...I...That's a BIG step don't ya think?"

"..."

"Okay, okay how about this, how about this...How about until...She either gets sick of suckin' me off every night? OR...Until 'Nando gets his official green card? I mean THAT could be a long time if you think about it..."

*SMACK!!!!*

A hard slap to the back of his head as Alexis almost jumped up from the floor, sending her hand towards the back of his head shocking everyone present in the chapel. Fuck! Rubbing the back of his head he went on with...

"Umm...Okay, okay I umm...I...Shit...I...I dooooooN'T know if I can do this without my parents here and my other close friends sir! I just...I need more time is all I..."

*SMACK!!!*

What the fuck? Another one? He turned to Alexis, a look of anger after that second strike to his head...

"Look Alexis...You need some help sweetie. I mean...A psychologist...No scratch that. A psychiatrist...You're gonna need some drugs. I'm sorry....But...I...I can't do this...So whatever you're gonna do to me...*Gulp* Do it already...I won't change my mind...I don't think anyway..."

[thebostonstar]

Just as Alexis was about to do something unimaginable, the doors creek open, with a modest Boston* looking rather nervous. She was in, well, church clothing to say the least. Completely out of her character, it seemed, as she quietly paced her way around the crowd of people, wondering what exactly it was that Addison had invited her too. Looking up a few times, to see if she could spot her anywhere, she let out a sigh. She didn't seem to be anywhere. Gazing around, looking at the grand stage, she sees what she assumes to be a wedding. Shrugging her shoulders, she figures she might as well enjoy this. She loves weddings, and thought of getting married to someone was a dream she had since she was a little girl.

Excusing herself, to take a seat, she sits, and observes what's exactly happening. She's placed in such a way, where she's to the back of Addison, and cannot see her face. Suddenly, a feeling of recognition overtook her as she begins to wonder why the man in the tuxedo was looking so familiar too her, when suddenly, it hits her. It was Cameron! Closing her eyes, and shaking her head, to make sure she didn't see anything, she opens them once more, and takes a gander.

An instant feeling of depression hit, and it hit rather hard. You mean Cameron really was just playing with my feelings? He had a fiancée this entire time? Flustered, she jams her forearm against her thigh, she knew Cameron was lying. That little boy. "Dang it, where is Addison?" she says rather loudly, forgetting to bring her voice down to a whisper.

[Addison Grey]

"YOU DON'T HAVE A CHOICE IN THIS." Alexis screams, trying her best not to smack him again. "We're getting married Cameron, and that's that! Simple, nothing more, but the rest of our lives together!" She seemed to ignore the fact that Boston was now a member of the audience, for she didn't hear the door creek open, or the rather loud comment coming from her mouth. Wanting to smack Cameron so badly, she merely slaps her own forearm, to let out some type of anger. "Please Cameron, I love you."

[Fernando Castro]

Drunkenly, somewhere sitting near Boston*, Fernando snickers, trying to make out the screen of his blackberry that he... "found." Um... Ebay...

"Lessee... here.... hmmmm...."

Aha! One Quesadilla maker found... 10 minutes left on the bid too. Hell yeah. Best five dollars spent evar!